My husband's female cousin and my husband's family is very close. The female cousin is getting married, asked our 9-year old daughter to be the flower girl, asked us to be involved in helping her coordinate the wedding, asked my husband and 12-year old son to do the videography, and to make sure were all going to be in town that weekend! Everyone in the family planned accordingly and for months, her wedding and all things pertaining to its coordination was shared by the family with her enjoying the attention and help. All the nephews and nieces (from 7 to 15) have a tight relationship with the cousin getting married and it was clearly communicated that everyone was invited.
Then the cousin's mom pressured the cousin getting married to have the reception at the most luxurious facility in town which placed strict restrictions and requirements on almost every facet of the reception. The expenses, of course, shot through the roof and they informed us that the children were not going to be invited after all except for our daughter to be the flower girl. Before the invitations went out to this effect, I took the cousin getting married out to lunch twice and expressed to her the hurt she would cause in the children and the family by unviting them. I asked her to please call her cousins (my husband and his brothers) to let them know and not just unviting the children without talking to them. She chose to not call and sent out invitations with bold "Adults Only" written on the invitations.
The children have all been hurt, my husband and his brothers (who have been basically like brothers to the cousin getting married) are also very hurt and the attitude of the cousin getting married and her mom has been surprisingly defiant and "hey, we don't owe you guys an invitation in the first place, and if you can't understand it, then fine, it's our wedding and we don't care about you and whether you come or not." Obviously, the relationships have sowered quickly, things have grown terribly uncomfortable and ugly, and the cousin and her mom have lashed out at the rest of the family for us having requested that they reconsider re-inviting the children. Their reply was that they don't want us to do anything w/them anymore for having disrespected their wishes.
We have decided to not attend the reception and are now considering not attending the wedding. How do we go about letting them know that our daughter will not be the flower girl? Do we call them? Do we email them? Do we go do it personally? Do we wait to see if they call? Do we not show up? Do we swallow our pride and let our daughter go even though all her cousins aren't invited?
Help!?!?!
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
/ Moderator
Mar 3, 2008, 8:27 PM
Post #2 of 2
(803 views)
Re: [leahvelasquez] Unviting Children - How do we respond?
[In reply to]
You have a lot of personal information here. Are you sure you want to post this on a public forum? Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Unviting Children - How do we respond?
