My sister asked me to be her matron of honor and for my husband to give her away at her wedding. This was before she told us that the reception would be "adults only". We live half way across the country from her, my children know no one there and the three of them are all under 5 yrs old. She said she wanted them at the wedding but NOT at the reception as it would be adults only. However she did allow her groom's brother in law to bring his 12 year old daughter. Was it appropriate to tell us AFTER asking us to be part of the wedding that our children were not to attend the reception and then to allow the niece to attend?
By the way, this is also after she put all three of my children's names on the envelope of the wedding invitation.
(This post was
edited by rmc3092 on Jan 25, 2006, 11:18 PM)
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Jan 26, 2006, 9:50 AM
Post #2 of 2
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Re: [rmc3092] adults only wedding reception
[In reply to]
Dear Sis,
This is unfortunate. No, she shouldn't have asked you without telling you about her no child rule.
Excluding children under a certain age has become common and is considered appropriate only because we are in charge of our guest list. However, I am always advising brides to consider how their guests will interpret this. As in your case, you see another parent with a child in attendance and wonder why yours are excluded and his are not. This is unfortunate, but most feel that it is appropriate.
Another unfortunate mistake was inviting your children formally and then making a stipulation later. She should at least having on site baby sitting. This would be appropriate if children are invited to the wedding and not the reception.
Because she has created this problem after you agreed to be a member of the bridal party, it is perfectly acceptable to bow out. Child care is a big issue.
adults only wedding reception
