Hello! We both agreed a few months ago that our ringbearer would be my nephew (age 7), who readily accepted. Over the holidays my fiance was very pleasantly surprised to discover how much my nephew acknowledged him and enjoyed being around him.
My fiance has two nieces (also age 7). His sister, I'm sure was expecting/ or hoping, we would ask them both to be flower girls. His mother hinted around that "they" have two flower girls ready and willing. The problem is this. Over our holiday visit back home, both nieces ignored him...even when he would try to say hello. He doesn't feel like he has any kind of special connection to them. These things are all secondary to the fact that he has wanted to keep the whole wedding simple and easy. Adding two flower girls when there is only the bride and groom and matron of honor and best man......and of course the ring bearer.
I am so afraid that his sister will be hurt or offended that her children, or someone from his side of the family will not be standing up front with the party, like our little ring bearer from the bride's family. If we had the two flower girls, who's side would they stand on? Does the ring bearer stand on the bride's side?
Will people think it odd or strange that we just have the ring bearer when these cute little almost twin girl nieces of the same age are running around?
And finally the last question: If we have his sister do a reading during the ceremony and ask that his two nieces be our "hostesses" and stand outside the chapel handing out the programs....will this be an easy fix and make all involved happy? If we choose this scenario, will the hostesses then be part of the bridal party for pictures and such? I hope I described our situation in a way that is understandable. This has been plaguing us for a long while. The wedding is in three months.
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Feb 6, 2006, 10:28 AM
Post #2 of 5
(1517 views)
Re: [aprilwed] two nieces same age as ring bearer
[In reply to]
Dear Bride,
The flower girls would be on your side, while the ring bearer is on the groom's side. So, ask yourself if you want them as flower girls. It would still be simple. You would just have more child attendants.
They could be greeters, but you would want an adult with them. They are too young to greet all by themselves. If they are greeters, they are not considered part of the bridal party. You could include them if you wanted, but it really isn't necessary.
It is ultimately your decision to include them. I don't think anyone except family will wonder why you included a ring bearer and not the two little girls as flower girls. The guests will most likely be admiring you.
Re: [aprilwed] two nieces same age as ring bearer
[In reply to]
If you decide not to have the flower girls allow your groom to speak to his sister regarding HIS decision. Otherwise - you're the "bad guy". Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
aprilwed
Feb 6, 2006, 6:14 PM
Post #4 of 5
(1507 views)
Re: [TWQadmin] two nieces same age as ring bearer
[In reply to]
Thank you both for the advice!! We took it!! and everyone is happy. My fiance made the call and everything will be just perfect with the ringbearer and two greeters. We decided to keep things simple. Thank you so much. I've learned so much from reading the wealth of information here.
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
/ Moderator
Feb 6, 2006, 6:27 PM
Post #5 of 5
(1502 views)
Re: [aprilwed] two nieces same age as ring bearer
[In reply to]
It's nice to be appreciated - isn't it Rebecca?
This makes it all worthwile! Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
two nieces same age as ring bearer
