Bride and Groom Don't Agree On Wedding Planning Details
Hello,
My fiance wants to have a say in the things chosen for the wedding. Each time he suggests something and I don't agree he gets angry and says he wants nothing to do with the wedding. The most recent is the song he wants for our entrance. It is very hokey and I want something more classy. I want him to voice his ideas and I feel bad for not liking them but I need to be honest. Should I continue to stick to agreeing to only what I like or should I just give in and let him have what he wants? I love that he wants to be involved but I don't usually love his ideas.
Thank you for any advice you may be able to provide me with.
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Jan 31, 2008, 7:58 AM)
yvonne"instep"
Social Worker, Stepmother, Certified Stepfamily Counsellor
Jan 30, 2008, 10:36 PM
Post #2 of 2
(451 views)
Re: [glovesdaniel] Bride and Groom Don't Agree On Wedding Planning Details
[In reply to]
As usual there is a middle ground here that's just begging to be considered. Should you just give in on everything and not speak your mind? Probably not. Or should you poopoo all of his ideas just because you honestly don't like them and have your own ideas? Probably not. I think you should make list of all the areas in which you both want to have input (and there will probably be more areas that you want to decide about than him anyway) and then write down what you each want. Weight the ones that are most important to each of you, give yourselves each some areas where you get to choose and decide which things you will agree to compromise on and reach a middle ground. That way you're being fair to both and both of you get to have some say in what this wedding looks like.
You also said you feel bad for not liking his ideas but you need to be honest. Honesty is good thing but being tactful about it, is also important. He probably is having trouble believing that you want his input if you disagree with everything he is bringing forth.
Decide what is most important to you. Like you pointed out, it is wonderful that you have a partnter who wants to be involved so celebrate and appreciate that; this is what true partnerships are made of - differences and a willingness to work together and find the common ground. Consider this good practice for the real thing which is marriage.
Best of Luck! Yvonne Kelly, MSW, RSW, Certified Stepfamily Counsellor and Coach, Co-Founder and Director of the Step and Blended Family Institute http://www.stepinstitute.ca
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Jan 31, 2008, 7:58 AM)
Bride and Groom Don't Agree On Wedding Planning Details
