Black tie wedding but my fiance wants to let his groomsmen wear their own tuxes
Hi -- we are having a formal wedding in September. I have 9 bridesmaids and my fiance has 11 groomsmen. I hate bridesmaid dresses and told my bridesmaids they could wear black tea length dresses that they pick out themselves. My fiance is opposed to the "theater of weddings" and wants his groomsmen to be able to wear their own tuxedos and shirts, which will obviously not match his. Is this going to look stupid? Our bridal party is sitting during the ceremony so at least people won't be looking at them for a long time... but still. Some of these guys have nice, expensive tuxes, but some of them have suspect taste. Then again, I don't know that I have any right to make them match, given that I didn't make my bridesmaids match either. Help. Is there a compromise here? Or am I stuck with a wedding party of odds and ends?
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Jul 16, 2007, 2:28 PM
Post #2 of 7
(647 views)
Re: [clarabow] Black tie wedding but my fiance wants to let his groomsmen wear their own tuxes
[In reply to]
Dear Clarabow,
I'm afraid you are going to end up with a mixed bag here. The biggest problem is the fact that your wedding is formal. Formal weddings as supposed to follow formal 'rules'. All of the men would be dressed the same, even if your ladies are wearing slightly different dresses. Plus, tea length may not be formal enough if the men are in tuxes. The tux is considered formal evening attire for weddings.
So, it may be best to make sure everyone is on the same page when it comes to formality and color. Perhaps if they all wore the same color and formality it may not be too noticeable.
Some of these rules are changing slowly. But, most still expect formal weddings to follow the rules.
Re: [Et.byRebecca] Black tie wedding but my fiance wants to let his groomsmen wear their own tuxes
[In reply to]
They are all wearing black tuxes and long black ties (not bowties). My fiance is providing them with matching pocket squares as well. Is there anything else I should request, in terms of shirts or shoes or something? I kind of understand -- I mean, if I owned a $2500 Armani tuxedo I wouldn't want to rent some nasty Men's Wearhouse tux to match my fellow groomsmen either!
As for the tea length, I know it is technically wrong but I kind of don't care. I wanted my girls to pick dresses that they would feel good in and wear again, and tea length is the most versatile. Nobody likes wearing ballgowns, including me, and every time I've had to wear one for a wedding I've been bummed. I'd rather people still like me after the wedding is over and have fun in a dress they love for five hours than have them look "appropriate" for a 25 minute ceremony.
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Jul 16, 2007, 4:58 PM
Post #4 of 7
(631 views)
Re: [clarabow] Black tie wedding but my fiance wants to let his groomsmen wear their own tuxes
[In reply to]
It would be best if the shirts were all the same color is all.
The length isn't the only component in formality. So, you could dress them up to match the formality of your event. And, your focus is very courteous. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
clarabow
Jul 16, 2007, 5:03 PM
Post #5 of 7
(629 views)
Re: [Et.byRebecca] Black tie wedding but my fiance wants to let his groomsmen wear their own tuxes
[In reply to]
Wait, do people wear something other than white shirts?? I didn't realize there was even another option. Really?
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Jul 16, 2007, 6:05 PM
Post #6 of 7
(623 views)
Re: [clarabow] Black tie wedding but my fiance wants to let his groomsmen wear their own tuxes
[In reply to]
They sure do, but I really haven't seen them. White is the safest choice and for me is best for formal weddings. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
clarabow
Jul 16, 2007, 6:59 PM
Post #7 of 7
(621 views)
Re: [Et.byRebecca] Black tie wedding but my fiance wants to let his groomsmen wear their own tuxes
[In reply to]
Black tie wedding but my fiance wants to let his groomsmen wear their own tuxes
