My FH's brother (and his gf) and I do not get along AT ALL. To the extent that we just avoid being in the same room together. (We have a previous personal history that contributes to this, that my FH is aware of, but his family is not) My future brother in law and his gf live across the country and when we set our wedding date, they attempted to get my FH to postpone the wedding for a year, as it was not convenient for them (we have 5 other, non sibling, wedding party members flying in from other parts of the country, with no complaint, they knew the wedding was being planned) I thought this was very rude and stated to them that our wedding date was not up for negotiation. They refused to confirm that they were going to be able attend so we picked another close friend and asked him if he could be a backup groomsmen in case the brother wasn't able to show up. Apparently they took HUGE offense to this, but still would not tell me if they could be there for sure or not. In the meantime, the brother proposed to his gf and my future husband found out about this from a non family member several days after (the rest of the family found out when she posted it as her status on facebook). There was some family drama surrounding this (no one in the family likes his gf) and I ended up on the receiving end of seperate long and hurtful emails from both the brother and his gf. They were deliberate attacks at me full of profanity and lies. They were bringing up the fact that we wouldn't change our wedding date, and had gotten a back up groomsman and that I didn't appear 'excited enough' about their upcoming wedding. Each email was page after page of spewed insults that shocked both me and my fiance. He is now going back and forth as to whether or not they should be invited to the wedding. I personally don't feel comfortable having a person who hates me standing at the front of the church with us wishing us the worst. I suspect that the attack stemmed from the fact that people were reacting less than favourably to the news of their engagement and since we didn't get along anyway I was the easiest one to take it out on. We don't want to start more drama, but it's supposed to be our day (that we've waited a REALLY long time for) and we want to be perfect. The brothers aren't really close, but they get along, and their sisters are standing for me. This is causing us so much stress and we don't know how to deal with it. I wish they would just come to an agreement that it wouldn't be best for the brother and his gf to attend the wedding and for us to all say that they just couldn't afford it, or couldn't get out of work... something reasonable that wouldn't alert the whole family to what is going on. What should we do?? My FH and I tend to be passive, but what they said was so rediculously obscene and malicious that neither of us can just pretend it didn't happen.
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Re: Groom's brother and I don't get along
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Groom's brother and I don't get along
