Parents ask groom to include brother in the wedding party
My son is getting married soon. He was not going to have a best man but I felt he should ask his only brother, since he was the best man at his broother's wedding last year. My husband and I spoke to our son several times about the situation and eventually our son decided to have his brother as the best man. His soon to be bride, whom I thought we had a good relationship with, is now furious with me. She said I had no right to ask to have my other son in the wedding. I am at a loss for words. I feel very strongly about family and I only asked for this one thing. I have not questioned anything about the wedding, until this. Have no idea what to do.
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Jan 6, 2007, 10:22 AM)
expertplanner
BRIDAL CONSULTANT
Post #2 of 4
(1617 views)
Re: [dladuque] Parents ask groom to include brother in the wedding party
[In reply to]
Siblings of the bride and groom are not necessarily required to be a part of the wedding. It is nice to do so, but not obligatory. Your son was in his brother's wedding because his brother asked him to be. However, it is apparent that your son wanted something else for his own wedding. Your son was not required to reciprocate the role. Wedding attendants are usually selected based on who is close to the bride and groom. Sometimes that includes siblings, sometimes it doesn't.
I mean what I am about to say tenderly. You pressured your son a bit and he ended up being caught between a rock and a hard place. It looks like he did what he did to keep peace with his family and now he has strife to deal with in his bride-to-be.
This is his/their wedding so he should have been free to make the decision of his attendants, or none, based on his own feelings. Even if you were/are providing financial support, this would remain the same. That being said, the damage is done. He cannot uninvite his brother. So, you may want to think of how you can help to smooth over the road that has now become bumpy so that your son doesn't regret having to have chosen between his present and his future.
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Post #3 of 4
(1613 views)
Re: [dladuque] Parents ask groom to include brother in the wedding party
[In reply to]
Very well said! I couldn't agree more. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
dladuque
Post #4 of 4
(1580 views)
Re: [expertplanner] Parents ask groom to include brother in the wedding party
[In reply to]
Rhonda Allen, Bridal Consultant, in reply to your answer, i was trying to keep it simple, so I will elaborate, my parent's were born in northern Italy, moved to the USA in the 1930's. My family is very similar to "My Greek Wedding," there are no exceptions, if my son does not ask his brother to be the best man, everyone in my family will disown me, there is no talking to anyone about this. I agree with you in saying the wedding should be decided by the bride and groom, but when it comes to family tradition, I am stumped. I would like to know how to explain to an angry future daughter-in-law. future-mom-in-law
Parents ask groom to include brother in the wedding party
