sorry to sound like a previous post! i dont get along well with my brother ( my only sibling), but i dont get along poorly. we pretty much co exist, we only talk when he needs help with something-- im some what of a door mat sometimes.
any how, my fiance has chosen his grooms men and there is room enough to stick my brother in there too but i just really dont think i want to. the number one reason... i despise his fiance and i know if hes in shes going to expect to be in it. and that isnt happening (i actualy dont even want her invited to the wedding)
any way, will i get in trouble if he isnt in the wedding? im sure he wont care( tho im sure my mother and his fiance will be very ticked). if i do decide to put in him, do i have to include his fiance as his partner? id rather pair him with one of my cousins in the bridal party...
another question... regaurding my dad. i have an odd relationship with my parents and brother.. second child syndrome i guess. i will feel VERY weird walking down the isle with my dad. ill feel the same if i go alone. i was planning/thinking of walking down the isle with my cousin who will be a young jr brides maid (she will be 8 or 9)
she feels very left out since her younger sister is perfect flower girl age and her young brother is the ring boy she has told her mom many times now that she is confused about her role in the wedding, she doesnt know what she is really there for ( feels out of place, andlike shes a pity pick.. shes only there because of her brother and sister) if i explained this to my father would that be a bad thing? we do not have a typical father/ daughter relationship. im quite boyish and as i said feel weird when with him( or any otherpart of my immediate family) .
my fiances mother has already asked to not be included in the wedding whatsoever ( son/mom dance etc) she is very anxious about these types of situations and we have told her not to worry. i think this is also a good thing to explain to my dad.
my father walked my cousin down the isle about 11 years ago as her father isnt in her life,and i just want to return the favour and taking my cousins daughter with me down the isle.
im not proper etiquette wise , at heart: i like being laid back etc. but i hate hurting peoples' feelings. i just dont know if i should consider my father over myself. i really wont feel comfortable with him down the isle, and he would probably bring on more stress than anything else...
so take your shots... should i consider my feelings or my fathers for the wedding party bit?.
on a side note, we will be paying for the wedding. my family will not be able to contribute anything, and i dont think my fiances will either, they certainly could but i think they want us to try on our own ( the good ole pushing a baby bird out of a nest to see if theyll fly.. i think we are gonna go splat... LOL)
oh another note, i will already be married. i am getting married in january or february in a court. the wedding and reception are for the party and formalities of a wedding. we want the party and the whole dress ect... but since ill be entering on a fiance visa i have to get married in 90 days , and there is no way i can afford a * real* wedding in 90 days.) the wedding part will basicaly be us walking up the isle and saying vows and walking out. no giving away ect since ill be married LOL
thanks! --Natalie in Toronto Brian in Ohio
We are nearly K1 visa survivors! K1 visa interview on October 29th!
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Oct 28, 2004, 11:57 AM
Post #2 of 2
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Re: [CanAmCouple] My brother/father in the wedding party
[In reply to]
Speak to your brother since it is his feelings you are considering. You do not have to invite his girlfriend to be in the wedding just because you are asking him. Invite only those you feel close to or with whom you have a relationship.
Since you are going to be married at the court house this "wedding" would really be considered a renewal of vows ceremony. In that case there is no need for anyone to walk you down the aisle. Perhaps you could consider not doing the walk since you'll already be married and you could just walk in from anside area off the front of the church? If you are going to have an escourt and if you care at all about your father then you should certainly not have someone other than your dad walking you down the aisle. After all, he is going to be at the wedding and won't he feel terrible and look terrible if he has been replaced in that role? I would say that unless he has done something devastating (and in that case probably shouldn't be attending the wedding anyway) to you he should be the person who gives you away. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
My brother/father in the wedding party
