The My parents are still married, the grooms' parents are divorced and remarried. Groom has chosen his father to be best man since his brother is overseas. However, I am planning on having a head table where all the bridal party sits together, as well as having 3 different parents tables in front of this head table. I am against the idea of having his father as the best man. I believe his father should play the "father" role and his best friend should be his best man. The groom is complaining because he says that his dad would want to sit with his wife down at the parents table. However, that would throw the head table out of balance. I told him that he needs to chose whether his father plays the best man role or the father role. I don't want the head table out of balance, but I want his father and stepmom to sit at one of the three head tables. Should I ask him to only have friends our age as groomsmen, that way he would save a lot of headache at the reception with messing up the seating and not having his father sit on the seats at the ceremony as the father role.
Is this normal for the dad to be the best man? And, should I talk to him about having his dad play the father role and not keep messing up the ligistics of the ceremony and reception?
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Jan 20, 2008, 8:05 PM)
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
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Jan 20, 2008, 8:10 PM
Post #2 of 4
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Re: [tommysbride] grooms father as bestman, causing problems
[In reply to]
I think you need to focus more on relationships than on seating arrangements. Allow your groom to choose his best man. I'm sure he and his family are missing that brother and perhaps asking the father to stand in for him will be comforting to them all. If he wants his father, that's really his choice to make. Let your groom and his father decide where he'll feel comfortable sitting and adjust the seating to accommodate him. Remember, these people will be your family. Don't sweat the small stuff. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Weddings by Shayna
VA WEDDING CONSULTANT
Jan 21, 2008, 9:16 AM
Post #3 of 4
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Re: [tommysbride] grooms father as bestman, causing problems
[In reply to]
I totally agree - what is most important to you? Is it the lasting family relationships which are obviously very meaningful to your fiance, or the number of seats at your head table? When you face future crises and need to lean on someone close to your fiance's family, which do you think they'll be thinking of?
Many grooms are choosing their fathers as best man these days (we literally see it all the time) AND most of the couples in this area don't do head tables anymore. Instead, they opt to have family tables and let the bridal party sit with their dates. Whichever you choose, please remember that the party is secondary to the sacred joining of two families. It might make such decisions easier for you. Shayna Walker, Williamsburg Wedding Design http://www.williamsburgweddingdesign.com
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Jan 21, 2008, 1:08 PM
Post #4 of 4
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Re: [tommysbride] grooms father as bestman, causing problems
[In reply to]
Three's a charm. I completely agree. It is very common and proper for the father of the groom to be the best man just as it is now quite common for the bride's mother to be MOH or her escort. It is a nice compliment also.
I also agree that the head table isn't necessary and is less common these days. It just seems more polite to allow your attendants to sit with their significant others.
The fact that your groom feels so close to his father to want him to be his best man really should be applauded, not discouraged. This behavior reflects respect, kindness, love, and family unity--all positive. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
grooms father as bestman, causing problems
