My boyfriend is a groomsman for a childhood friend of his. The bachelor party is a three day trip to NYC (We live in NH so travel, hotel, and partying for three days will add up). He is embarking on a new career and it is looked down upon to take excessive days off. He will not be paid for the Friday he needs to take off to go on this trip. AND to boot... this weekend is our one year anniversary...Which I understand he has to go but it's just upsetting.
Then... the groomsman will be going on a fishing cruise the Thursday before the wedding. It is expected he gets a hotel room on the seacoast after fishing and remain there until the Sunday after the wedding! Keep in mind that Thursday and Friday he will also go without vacation pay while he has to cough up money for three nights stay that is only a half hour drive from our home and then whatever they have to pay to charter deep sea fishing and of course booze.
He is starting to grow uncomfortable with all that is being asked of him. It's adding up and what his friend doesn't understand is that my boyfriend doesn't live with Mommy like the rest of them and has bills he actually needs to pay. Is this too much to be asking of your groomsman? Is there a polite way to bow out of some of these activities?
Thanks for your help!! I greatly appreciate it!!!
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Mar 10, 2009, 2:06 PM)
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
/ Moderator
Post #2 of 4
(406 views)
Re: multiple bachelor parties too much expense
[In reply to]
Do these people watch the news at all? Geeze. Just say NO!
The bachelor party is an optional event, even when held on just one night, never mind multiple nights. Now they plan another "bachelor party"? This seems excessive to me. Your husband must speak openly and honestly with the groom. If he's a true friend, and has half a brain, he should understand. If not, sorry, this is the groom's problem. In these tough economic times, no one should be expected to stray outside of their comfort zone. AND, nobody should be living off mommy, since many mommies (and daddies) are struggling these days too. If they aren't, they could be. No one seems exempt from these layoffs.
By the way, IMO, your husband's place is with his wife on their anniversary. These guys need to grow up andstop being so selfish if they're going to be getting married.
Sorry for the rant. I hope your husband can work this out with his friend. Happy anniversary. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Mar 10, 2009, 2:19 PM)
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Post #3 of 4
(397 views)
Re: multiple bachelor parties too much expense
[In reply to]
I agree. All of this is optional and should be approved by all who would be contributing ahead of time. Plus, the groom shouldn't have any say in these parties since they are all paid for by the guests.
He isn't obligated to contribute or to attend. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
Yuska23
Post #4 of 4
(393 views)
Re: multiple bachelor parties too much expense
[In reply to]
Thank you for your help ladies! It helps me validate my opinion and makes me feel like he and I aren't both over reacting.
Selfish was the exact word I was thinking of when I heard of all that was expected of him to do.
multiple bachelor parties too much expense
