My sister got engaged last weekend and has decided to have an extremely small ceremony in less than 3 weeks. They will be having a larger reception in 6 months and she has decided they will renew their vows and she will wear a floor length gown to that event. I declined to be her MOH or even be in the bridal party for multiple reasons.
One of her girlfriends that is in the bridal party brought up the idea of a shower after the first wedding but before the second. The idea had never occurred to me as both the bride and groom are around 50 - this is her secnd marriage and his third. The other day my sister asked me to help her bridesmaid with the shower and emailed me the list of people she wants invited. I flat out told her etiquette states she cannot have people at the shower that are not invited to the (second) wedding. At that point, she asked me to get in touch with one of her co-workers and make sure that they also throw her a work shower. She plans to register at 3 different stores.
I really do not want my name attached to any of this. How do I help reign her in, or at least politely back out of being part of the excess? I guess I thought I had already done that by declining to be her MOH or be in the bridal party. Help!
I don't blame you for not wanting to be a part of this. it's not that a second or third wedding shouldn't be celebrated, but there is only one wedding per marriage. Once they get married in 3 weeks, they will be married and no other wedding is required. So, only those invited to the wedding in 3 weeks should be invited to a shower. If there are very few guests invited to the wedding then there shouldn't be a shower.
Perhaps you can have a discussion with this bridesmaid and ask her to get on board. If you are close with your sister please talk with her about your feelings and how this might be perceived by her guests (friends and family). if she decides to do what she pleases, then explain that you cannot be a part of it and why. of course, you'll still attend (if you want) but you cannot help her plan.
Please let me know how this works out. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Nov 9, 2009, 12:46 PM)
We aren't the only ones who write about this, as you well know. Perhaps she could be directed to an etiquette book or to many articles Miss Manners has written about it.
2 weddings and 2 showers
