Help! My future mother in law is taking over my wedding planning. My biggest concern at this point is that she has made it extremely clear that she wants me to have 3 or more bridal showers. I had a close family friend offer to throw me a bridal shower and I was very honored and excited about it. My fiance's mom also had two of her friends offer. I only wanted one shower originally, but she talked me into having two, one for the bride's side and one for the groom's. NOW, she wants me to have 3 showers and actually said that I could have 4 or 5 if I wanted (explaining that we would not invite the same people to all of the showers). Is this normal? I have never heard of having this many showers. I explained to her that it is not really my style to have this many showers, and in the beginning I only wanted to have one. She told me that I have "put her in a bad spot" because she feels uncomfortable telling her one friend that we appreciate the offer, but do not need her to throw the shower. She also said that the purpose of a bridal shower is to get to know people on the groom's side that you do not know who will be at the wedding. Is this true? I just feel uncomfortable inviting all these guests that I do not know to my shower. I thought it was supposed to be close family/friends who attend. If you can shed some light on this issue I would appreciate it. Thanks.
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
May 14, 2007, 10:40 AM
Post #2 of 3
(616 views)
Re: [JulieMCooper] 3 or more bridal showers??!
[In reply to]
Dear Julie,
She doesn't realize what the shower is supposed to be. It should be small and intimate and only include those close to the couple. Mothers are not involved and neither are her friends. There shouldn't be more than two showers.
She doesn't invite guests to your wedding, so how would she know who needs to get to know you before the wedding?
Only those invited to the wedding are invited to the shower. No one besides your attendants and mothers are invited to more than one. And, not all of the wedding guests are invited to showers.
She may be confusing a shower with an engagement party. This is a party that introduces the couple to family. But, in any case, there is nothing wrong with family getting to know you at a family function that has nothing to do with gifts. With her current involvement it may appear as if you and she are the greediest people around. So, it may be best to ask her to read any etiquette book or this site for what is proper. Of course, it is best to state this delicately.
3 or more bridal showers??!
