I am a bridesmaid in my good friend's wedding. The MOH is the bride's cousin, and we both live several states away from the bride and all of the wedding events. The other bridesmaids are the bride's best friend and another girl - I'm not sure what her relation is to the bride.
As the wedding date approached (about 7 weeks!), I realized that no one had yet brought up the subject of planning a shower and/or bachelorette party. I contacted the bride's best friend, the only member of the party that I know. She obtained contact information for the other bridesmaids from the bride's mother, and we contacted them about planning these events. The other bridesmaid replied that she would only be able to attend one or the other, and she would prefer to come to the shower. She thereafter ceased replying to calls or emails. The MOH has not returned a single call or email.
The other bridesmaid and I successfully threw the bridal shower and bachelorette party at our expense. I am aware that these are parties that we've chosen to throw for the bride, and I would not dare ask anyone else for money, but is it wrong of me to feel irritated by the total lack of participation of the other two? The bride's best friend has helped her with every step of the wedding planning process, the two of us threw the parties even though we're both just out of college and very poor (and for me, included the added inconvenience of traveling 250 miles each way two weekends in a row). I'm glad to do these things - I want everything to be amazing for the bride, and wouldn't miss out on these occasions for the world - but is it too much to ask that the other girls fain interest in contributing, or at the very least, return our calls to say that they can't?
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Apr 3, 2008, 10:11 AM
Post #2 of 2
(494 views)
Re: [bdsmaid] Apathetic Bridal Party
[In reply to]
Dear Bdsmaid,
It is impolite for the others not to reply to your emails and phone calls. But, I wonder if they felt as if they were being pressured into contributing when they can't. So, they may be avoiding contact because of this.
These are optional parties that all should be allowed to opt-into. They chose not to. That is their right. Many don't feel that these parties are of value any more. This is also their right and maybe it is true.
For the out of town bridesmaid, many if not most, don't attend, plan, or host any of the prewedding events. It is somewhat understood that they won't be able to. You chose to, which is very generous. But, it isn't something that the others, even those who live close to the bride, should feel that they must.
Apathetic Bridal Party
