A friend offered to host a lovely bridal tea/shower for me at her home. I appreciate her generosity but she called recently and suggested that I buy each of the twenty or so guests a gift since they were buying me a gift for the shower. I just graduated from college and am just starting self-employment so money is very tight for me right now. I was planning on buying the hostess a thank you gift and sending her and each of the guests a handwritten thank you card as well. Is it improper for me not to buy gifts for the shower guests? What would be a polite way to let her know that I can't afford to buy twenty gifts if it is not generally expected? Thank you very much for your time.
Sincerely, Questioner
PS. Apologies if this question has been answered before; I did a couple of searches but couldn't find a similar one. Thanks again!
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Jul 17, 2008, 10:32 AM
Post #2 of 2
(373 views)
Re: Bride asked to buy gifts for the shower guests
[In reply to]
Dear Questioner,
This isn't typical, but it does reflect how people are beginning to question the "extra" gifts the couple receives by having gifting showers and then guests are also expected to give another wedding gift. Perhaps you could ask her to host a gift-less shower instead of the traditional gifting shower. This would take the issue of gifts out of the equation.
Your host might not know that as host she is typically expected to offer the guests some sort of "favor" and that the honored guest doesn't give the gifts (favors).
Bride asked to buy gifts for the shower guests
