I am the MOH at a destination wedding that will be held across the country. Approximately 20 guests have been invited and will be attending. I have offered to host a traditional shower for those guests. Because so few people are invited to the wedding, however, the bride would like to have a shower that includes lots of other people. The bride has expressed that shower gifts are very important to her and I do not want her to be disappointed.The concern is that people who are invited to the shower but not the wedding ceremony may be offended. We have discussed holding some other type of party, but don't know what other type of event, if any, is appropriate. We don't want to have hard feelings about this, and really do not want to offend people. Is it okay to send out a large number of wedding invitations so as to increase the shower list? If not, is there any way that we and/or she can hold a pre-wedding event that involves gifts under these circumstances?
(This post was
edited by need to know on Jul 6, 2007, 6:52 PM)
Etiquette Now
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Jul 6, 2007, 1:30 PM
Post #2 of 4
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Re: [need to know] Bride insists on inviting people not invited to the wedding.
[In reply to]
Dear Need to Know,
Bridal shower gifts are very important to the bride? Gifts? This is the focus? Hum.
Number one, we don't invite everyone that is invited to the wedding to the shower. With a wedding this small, there should be no shower. This is called double dipping--not polite and viewed as greedy behavior.
In essence, she wants and is expecting two wedding gifts from everyone. Is that really fair to her guests?
The big number two, we never, ever invite guests to a shower who are not also invited to the wedding. And, to pad the wedding guest list just to receive more gifts is... well, I can't state it politely.
Re: [need to know] Bride would like shower with lots of guests
[In reply to]
I appreciate you answering so quickly. Is there any other type of pre-wedding event (other than a shower) that you can think of that would be appropriate? If so, what type of event and who should host it?
(This post was
edited by need to know on Jul 6, 2007, 6:54 PM)
TWQadmin
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Jul 7, 2007, 10:09 AM
Post #4 of 4
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Re: [need to know] Bride would like shower with lots of guests
[In reply to]
Only guests invited to the wedding can be invited to a pre-wedding event. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Bride would like shower with lots of guests
