I was asked to be in a wedding and I was recently emailed by the MOH with a list of prices for the shower. Total cost (just for FOOD) is $250-$300 per bridesmaid! This does not include invites, favors, postage, decorations, etc. I have to travel for the wedding, shower, and bachelorette party. We are expected to provide gifts for each wedding event, as well. What is an acceptable amount to spend for the shower?
Also, there are 80 people invited to the shower, and the food is structured as a 4-course meal. When I emailed the MOH about reducing the cost/menu while keeping the venue respectable and classy, she would not go below $20/bridesmaid.
I was married this year and did not have such an elaborate shower and my husband's mother and mine discreetly covered any additional cost. My husband and I are trying to save for a house, and have a serious, costly family situation as well. What should I do?? What would be an acceptable amount to give?
(This post was
edited by krissy_73 on Dec 16, 2008, 9:56 AM)
I would just say no. The shower is an optional event and all who would host, which isn't always the bridesmaids, have to agree on the planning and all costs. If the MOH wants to host a lavish event, she can pay all the costs. She may want to send a bill, but no one is obligated to contribute.
I feel that she has this event confused with the reception. The shower shouldn't be this expensive and definitely shouldn't include this many guests. In fact, as it is planned now, it would be considered very improper. It is what we call a "mega-shower" which is designed to garner the most gifts possible--very improper and tacky. There shouldn't be more than 35 guests.
There is no "acceptable" amount to spend on the shower. The amount is your choice.
Additionally, you are only expected to give one shower gift and one wedding gift. Both are often a group gift.
Bridesmaid Typical Expense
