I am the MOH in my sister's wedding in Oct.06. Because the summer is impossible to schedule events due to vacations, etc. I was planning on hosting the shower in the early Spring. An aunt whose daughter is also in the wedding party told me that this is way too early and that her daughter, who is a college student, would not be able to attend because she will be at school (which is driving distance away). My aunt further stated that the shower date is the decision of the entire bridal party not just the MOH, even though I will be hosting (and paying for it). I realize showers are traditionally held 2-4 weeks prior to the wedding, but didn't think there were any hard and fast rules. Am I right ? Also, how can I tactfully tell my aunt to butt-out as I know this is just the beginning of her extensive opinions.
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Sep 19, 2005, 3:35 PM
Post #2 of 2
(658 views)
Re: [sisofbride] Bridesmaids involvement in shower planning
[In reply to]
Dear MOH,
Your aunt is incorrect about showers being planned by the entire bridal party. This date is set by the host. Although, the host should try to set a date which is suitable for all of the bridesmaids so they can attend. This isn't always possible.
Also, your date is much too early. So much can happen between early spring and October. Two people posted about postponed weddings just last week. Plus, a large part of the bridal shower is to generate excitement in the upcoming wedding and to help make the guests feel as if they are a part of the wedding planning process. This would be difficult if you hosted the shower that early.
Bridal showers are an optional event. So if it cannot be hosted closer to the wedding date, perhaps it shouldn't be hosted.
It would seem as if September would be the best time.
As for the tactful 'butt out' comments... perhaps it would be best just to let her know that you appreciate her interest, but you want to do this by the book--with consideration to proper etiquette. Honesty helps.
Bridesmaids involvement in shower planning
