Churches women's groups hosting /planning bridal showers
As the leader of our church women's group, we are "expected" to host a shower for every bride-to-be that is a member. This has been done for MANY years! The church provides the hall, pays for the cake, nuts, mints, and punch. Anything above this like finger food or heartier fare has been provided by the ladies themselves. It has been implied that this is "inappropriate" and that the church should foot the whole bill if they are hosting the shower and that people should not be asked to bring food items to help with the shower. I have been conflicted many times about the women's group even "hosting" these showers because many times, the whole church is NOT invited to the wedding, but ALL ladies ARE invited to the shower in the church bulletin. I know that the ladies of the church want to bless the bride-to-be but I feel that showers should be hosted by close friends. I do not feel that it is the church's responsibility to provide for and finance wedding showers. Please advise me on proper etiquette and how to change these practices in our church. Thanks.
This is a common problem with many small groups (regional) or organizations when a practice has been in place for years without thought to what is actually considered etiquette 'ly' correct. The reasons seem thoughtful, but without knowing the 'rules' people begin to make them up and hurt feelings and confusion tend to be the outcome, as we see here.
Perhaps you could suggest that from this point forward that the church organization could follow what is considered etiquette 'ly' correct. Any etiquette book could be referenced. Of course this site, which focuses on etiquette, could be referenced as well.
Only close friends or attendants host the shower. Only those invited to the wedding may be invited to a shower. These should be small, intimate affairs that are 'completely' hosted--the host provides everything. And, many brides are requesting (when a shower is offered--a shower is optional) a gift-less shower these days. It just seems more appropriate for our modern bride.
Churches women's groups hosting /planning bridal showers
