I'm MOH for a friend I grew up with. I live in another part of the country now, and have for some time, and the other bridesmaids are telling me that I am expected to spend at least $250 on a shower gift for each shower because I am in the bridal party (other guests are expected to spend about $100, $150) and that for the wedding we are to give money, not a gift, and should give at least $500 per person to cover our "share" of the cost of the wedding and still provide the bride and groom with money to put into savings for a house.
I think this is absurd. Where I live, $25-50 for a shower gift is normal. I would have been embarrassed to open a gift worth several hundred dollars at my shower. My husband and I budgeted for $300 for a wedding gift, in addition to all the other expenses.
My inclination is to go with what I would expect to spend for a wedding in my own area. Is that acceptable? Should I be compromising in some way?
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on May 1, 2008, 2:20 PM)
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
/ Moderator
This is ridiculous. You are not obligated to host a shower. If there are any (no more than two), you are expected (if possible) to attend. You are only expected to give one shower gift that is often a group gift. It shouldn't be expensive. The wedding gift is the same.
No guest or attendant should be expected to give money even if it is common in a region. And, no one is expected to pay for the couple's wedding except the couple. Attendants don't cover a part of it. That is just plain silly. I don't know where they came up with this, but it isn't correct. An etiquette book would be a good tool at this point. Or, you could send the lot to us.
Expensive bridal shower gifts expected
