My friend is getting married and her aunt is hosting a bridal shower. I wasn't planning on going because I usually find showers to be in poor taste, in the sense that they are often just a gift-grab. In this case, the bride and groom are fairly wealthy and already have two houses worth of nice household stuff, but have registered for nicer, more expensive versions of the stuff they already have (kitchen stuff, sheets, towels, etc). I find this incredibly tacky, but wouldn't dream of telling her so because I don't want to hurt her feelings, and I know that most of the stuff on the registry was actually put there by her pushy mother and not her.
Anyway, I was just planning on avoiding the shower but the bride has started asking me if I'm going, indicating she really wants me to go and that she sees it as a get-together for people who are close to her (which baffles me, because I just see it as a way to have people buy her things). I've been evasive, but I don't have any solid excuse to weasel out of going.
My objection isn't that I have to buy her a gift (I'm going to the wedding and am planning on sending a wedding gift from the registry, but I can certainly afford another gift for the shower), it's just that I dread sitting through this event which seems like its only purpose is for her relatives to squeeze more gifts out of the female wedding attendees. I'm a little afraid that I might not be able to fake like I'm enjoying it and that my body language may reveal how disgusted I am at the whole thing.
My dilemma is that I don't want to offend the bride, but at the same time I'm a little offended that she's pressuring me to go. I find it tacky for the bride to pressure people to go to an event whose purpose is giving the bride gifts, but I don't think that idea has even occurred to her.
What would you recommend in this situation? Is there a polite way to refuse the invitation? I think I may just have to grit my teeth and go, and do my best to pretend like I enjoy it.
TWQadmin
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Jun 20, 2007, 9:22 PM
Post #2 of 3
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Re: [clueless] Feeling pressure to go to shower -- do I have to?
[In reply to]
Aren't you already busy that day? Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Jun 21, 2007, 10:56 AM
Post #3 of 3
(700 views)
Re: [clueless] Feeling pressure to go to shower -- do I have to?
[In reply to]
I was thinking the same thing! You are not obligated to attend and I'm sure something huge just came up...jeez.
I wanted to thank you. Thank you!!! You have written your thoughts and opinions about what I have been saying about so many of today's showers in a way (hopefully) others will be able to understand. Not all are gift grabs, but many appear to be. It isn't a positive message.
Hopefully we will see a change very soon. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
Feeling pressure to go to shower -- do I have to?
