Future mother in law wants to invite his Ex's MOM to shower-
Here is my problem, my future mother-in-law and her daughter insist on inviting my fiance's ex-fiance's mother to my shower. This woman is NOT a close friend of mine or even my future mother in law's. The Ex's Mother and father are invited to the wedding as the father is very good friends with my fiance. I have told them no that it makes me uncomfortable, gave them my list for the shower and they insist on inviting her. Also their motto on this shower is that if they are invited to the wedding they are invited to the shower and now the guest list is approaching 60 women, most of which I don't know. How do I handle this situation? What is protocal on who gets invites to a shower other thant they have to be invited to the wedding.
Thanks for your help!
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on May 9, 2005, 4:14 PM)
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Mar 7, 2005, 4:00 PM
Post #2 of 4
(1570 views)
Re: [dillej] Future m-i-l wants to invite his Ex's MOM to shower-
[In reply to]
Dear Future,
This is really getting out of hand, isn't it? 60 people to a bridal shower? This is craziness.
The protocol is that no one should be invited to the shower unless they are also invited to the wedding. It isn't that everyone invited to the wedding also is invited to the shower. That is like double gift dipping--a major gift grab.
A shower is meant to shower the bride with gifts, yes. But, it is something more. This is a time for a small intimate group of the bride's friends and family to be included in a pre-wedding event. This helps them feel closer to the event itself.
You are correct that this woman should not be invited. Also, your future mother in law and sister should not be hosting your shower. This is a perfect example why this is so. When close family members host, it appears self serving. By inviting so many people it appears as if your fiance's mother is trying to 'get' as many gifts as possible for you two.
I don't know what you can do from this point forward except perhaps to ask them to read this post.
Best of luck with this, Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
dillej
Mar 7, 2005, 4:31 PM
Post #3 of 4
(1562 views)
Re: [Et.byRebecca] Future m-i-l wants to invite his Ex's MOM to shower-
[In reply to]
My future sister-in-law is hosting because she is a bridesmaid, but my mother-in-law seems to have a lot to say about the shower and who is invited. The other shower that I just had on my side of the family was 15 people all of which are related or are very close family friends. It seems that the in-laws are trying to out-do my side. Thank you for the advise, I am going to show this thread to my fiance and see what he thinks and how we are going to approach this. It bothers me the most becuase I do not want to seem greedy and I want to get to know his extended family, which with that amount of people I will never get to do.
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Mar 7, 2005, 6:00 PM
Post #4 of 4
(1553 views)
Re: [dillej] Future m-i-l wants to invite his Ex's MOM to shower-
[In reply to]
You have a very level head and seem to know your etiquette. Bravo. You are also correct that if she is a bridesmaid, she may host.
Good luck with this. Please keep us informed. I will be thinking of you. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
Future mother in law wants to invite his Ex's MOM to shower-
Re: [Et.byRebecca] Future m-i-l wants to invite his Ex's MOM to shower-
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