Please give me your thoughts on this situation. I am getting married for the 1st time in 2 months (engaged a year ago). I have given and attended many showers for friends and family over the yrs. All the people close to me have indicated they will not be giving me a shower because they're too busy or they don't want the hassle of entertaining. (I seriously doubt there is a surprise shower in the works for me--no one in my or the groom's family has ever done a surprise shower.) I realize this is not an entitlement, but it does disappoint me deeply. (Not to get gifts, but to celebrate my upcoming marriage. They all know that.) Anyway, the real problem is that they're sending me invitations to showers they're giving for other family members! I just think it's so rude to try to make me feel obligated to attend others' showers.
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
/ Moderator
Jul 21, 2004, 12:23 PM
Post #2 of 6
(2999 views)
Re: [purple] Giving but not Receiving!
[In reply to]
In regard to attending other showers: accept or decline the invitation as you would normally, whether you are being given a shower or not. Show the world you have integrity and class. I have a feeling that, if the family members are giving other members a shower, that you too will be getting one and maybe it will be a surprise. Just think how silly you'd feel if you declined the other shower invitations and squaked about not being given a shower and then...WHAM...you walk into a room one day to "SURPRISE,it's your bridal shower!"
I am sorry that you are hurt but there is really nothing that you can do to force anyone to give a bridal shower.
By the way, family members are not supposed to host the shower. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Jul 21, 2004, 1:17 PM
Post #3 of 6
(2994 views)
Re: [purple] Giving but not Receiving!
[In reply to]
Dear Not Receiving,
The Wedding Queen still sits high on her throne. I completely agree.
And, I am sorry about your hurt feelings. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
purple
Deleted
Jul 21, 2004, 1:43 PM
Post #4 of 6
(2990 views)
Re: [Et.byRebecca] Giving but not Receiving!
[In reply to]
Is it appropriate etiquette-wise for the Bride & Groom to host their own pre-wedding celebration if no one is giving us a shower, bachelor party, and bachelorette party, as long as we just call it a party and not a shower?
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Jul 21, 2004, 2:04 PM
Post #5 of 6
(2980 views)
Re: [purple] Giving but not Receiving!
[In reply to]
Dear Not Receiving,
You could have hosted your own engagement party, but it is too late for that. At this time you could host a bridesmaids party to thank them for participating in your wedding. This is usually a party for the bride to give her attendants a gift. If the groom's family is not hosting a rehearsal dinner, you two may host it. However, none of these options are gift giving events for you--sorry.
You may host a party as long as it is simply a party. Of course this would not be considered a gift giving event, just a celebration. It would be very important for all guests to know that this is not a pre-wedding 'type' party, so it did not appear as if you are asking for gifts by hosting your own party. I'm sure you would not want to be embarrassed.
Re: [purple] Giving but not Receiving!
[In reply to]
It is just possible that a surprise shower is planned - and this is just one of the reasons that surprise showers are not a good idea. The bride goes around believing that she is being left out - which in this case she might actually be, but we just don't know. Sandy Riffman
Giving but not Receiving!
