I am not having a wedding party, and none of my close friends live nearby, so I was just fine not having any bridal shower. When family members and my mother's friends began asking about my shower, I informed them that I wasn't having one. Then, my (very new) step-mother (whom I hardly know) decided to host one for me. When I said I didn't feel it was appropriate, my father was very angry and insisted I allow her to throw the party. We finally negoiated it to be family only, but I was still uncomfortable. Now, my mother and her friends have heard about this shower and decided to throw one themselves. My aunt if officially hosting, and they mailed invitations, knowing I didn't agree with the idea. I've read all your posts about family not hosting, bride and groom's close friends being involved, and so on, so I realize there are numerous etiquette breaches here...my question is: Is there a polite way to deal with this situation from this point forward? If the bride isn't supposed to be involved in the showers, how can she deter these abuses of etiquette? Is there any way to request a "recipe" shower - or some other type that doesn't require purchased gifts - after the invitations have already been sent? [I don't even know how many people were invited, or exactly who these people are]
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Jun 20, 2007, 4:17 PM)
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Jun 20, 2007, 6:58 PM
Post #2 of 2
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Re: [buffalocat] How do I tell family not to host a bridal shower?
[In reply to]
Dear Buffalocat,
I'm sorry they have put you in this position. You could tell them that you won't attend, but that probably wouldn't go over well. You can inform those who are hosting that you are not interested in gifts and to please host this as a gift-less shower or as you suggested one where the guests give their favorite recipe--good idea.
The bride can always state that she doesn't want gifts. This is fine.
How do I tell family not to host a bridal shower?
