My best friends daughter is getting married. The bride to be is also one of my daughters best friends and my daughter is a bridesmaid. My friends and I hosted an engagement party for the couple, after they were engaged. They also had an engagement party in the grooms hometown, about 8 hours from here, which we were invited to, but did not attend. The bachelorette party was last weekend, which we attended. There is a lingerie shower this weekend, which my daughter and I can't attend due to previous plans. My friends and I are hosting a couples shower for the bride and groom to be, next weekend. There is also a "family shower", which we are not invited to (thank goodness). Every shower, engagement party, etc. had a guest list of about 80 people. There were 78 invitations sent out for the bachelorette party, 28 people attended. All of the same people were invited to all of these events. I thought that the same people should not be invited to multiple showers. When my daughter and I could not attend something the bride is rude about it to my daughter and my friend tries to make me feel bad about it. It is overwhelming and this does not even include the wedding yet. What are we obligated to attend, my daughter as a bridesmaid and me as the MOB's best friend.
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Aug 10, 2008, 2:18 PM
Post #2 of 2
(249 views)
Re: How many events do you have to attend?
[In reply to]
Dear Enough,
Wow! This appears as very greedy and self-absorbed behavior. There shouldn't be more than 2 showers, no one but mothers and attendants are invited to more than one, and they should be small and intimate. Only those close to the couple (very good friends of theirs, not their parents) should host and only if it is their choice.
If you host this couple's shower, do not invite more than 35 guests. And, since the couple has already had other showers, it is best that this one is gift-less. You are host, so you host the event the way you wish. It doesn't matter if the bride wants more guests invited or gifts.
We don't usually host this many events for a couple. And, those invited shouldn't be made to feel obligated to attend. It should always be optional to attend these optional parties.
Hopefully those invited to these optional prewedding parties are also invited to the wedding.
How many events do you have to attend?
