I was once best friends with the bride to be, but about 3 years ago we just stopped talking for an unknown reason. While preparing for another friend's wedding, I ran into her at a department store and we chatted at length and did the obligatory number exchange. I saw her again that week and we chatted some more, and discussed how she was getting married in the next 6 months. It has been 5 months since I've seen her or spoken to her, and I randomly get an invite to her bridal shower. Now, while I consider this a blatant "gift grab" as I really barely know her anymore, I was considering the offer - until I saw the registry. Now, both of them are in their very early 20's, but have a home and have lived together for a few years now. The registry is completely insane! They are asking for not only every conceivable furnishing under the sun, but extremely costly flatware, glassware, and everything is top of the line. Furthermore, the wedding is exactly 6 weeks away and I haven't gotten an invite to that. Should I be a little angry or frustrated by this? I'm stunned at her complete disregard for her friend's budgets considering the age range, and even more disgusted they feel their "guests" should furnish their entire house and buy all brand-new top of the line items. Is this appropriate behavior, or am I overreacting?
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Sep 28, 2007, 4:36 PM)
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
/ Moderator
Sep 28, 2007, 4:42 PM
Post #2 of 3
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Re: [loquita] Invited to bridal shower but not to wedding
[In reply to]
No, I don't think you're overeacting at all. Only those closest to the bride and groom should be invited to a shower. Your reaction is exactly why.
But, note that you might still be getting a wedding invitation since those can be sent out for 6 - 8 weeks before the wedding.
Just politely decline the shower invitation. Their registry is not a demand for gifts. Guests do not have any obligation to make their purchase from the registry. So, if everything on it is expensive then their guests can choose something else that fits into their budget. But, I agree that there should be a range of gifts selected.
Normally I might suggest that the bride is looking to stir up the friendship again. But, since she hasn't contacted you in 5 months she's probably just looking to pad the guest list. If you receive a wedding invitation it's your call to attend or not. If you care to rekindle this friendship you may want to go. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Sep 28, 2007, 6:55 PM
Post #3 of 3
(900 views)
Re: [loquita] Invited to bridal shower but not to wedding
[In reply to]
I completely agree. Furnishings?? Too funny. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
Invited to bridal shower but not to wedding
I was once best friends with the bride to be, but about 3 years ago we just stopped talking for an unknown reason. While preparing for another friend's wedding, I ran into her at a department store and we chatted at length and did the obligatory number exchange. I saw her again that week and we chatted some more, and discussed how she was getting married in the next 6 months. It has been 5 months since I've seen her or spoken to her, and I randomly get an invite to her bridal shower. Now, while I consider this a blatant "gift grab" as I really barely know her anymore, I was considering the offer - until I saw the registry. Now, both of them are in their very early 20's, but have a home and have lived together for a few years now. The registry is completely insane! They are asking for not only every conceivable furnishing under the sun, but extremely costly flatware, glassware, and everything is top of the line. Furthermore, the wedding is exactly 6 weeks away and I haven't gotten an invite to that. Should I be a little angry or frustrated by this? I'm stunned at her complete disregard for her friend's budgets considering the age range, and even more disgusted they feel their "guests" should furnish their entire house and buy all brand-new top of the line items. Is this appropriate behavior, or am I overreacting? 
