It is 3 weeks before my friend's daughter's wedding, and even though I have received an invitation to the shower in 2 weeks, we have not received one to the wedding. I have known the bride since she was born, and am a good friend of her mother. At their home recently, they both asked me if I would be able to attend the shower, and I said that I probably could (I thought that we would be back from holidays at that point, but, now it would be a matter of returning early to attend). At our daughter's recent wedding in May, the MOB was invited to both the shower and the wedding, which she did attend (the daughter was not invited because she is not a close friend of my daughter, but she did attend as the babysitter of the young children).
I am concerned that I would hurt the MOB's feelings if I did not attend the shower, and she has been going through a very difficult time recently since she and her husband are in the midst of a nasty divorce - I helped her a lot when she moved into an apt at the end of June and gave her moral support. So, what do I do? What do I say to the MOB? Do I come back early from our holidays for the shower? My husband is not thrilled with that thought. Do I attend the shower to prevent hurting the MOB's feelings? HELP!
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Aug 5, 2008, 3:57 PM
Post #2 of 2
(508 views)
Re: Invited to shower, not to wedding
[In reply to]
Dear Confused Friend,
Please do not change your plans for this optional party. An invitations doesn't require you to attend, especially when you have other plans. You could just send a congratulatory card for her wedding.
All guests to a shower must be also invited to the wedding. Unfortunately they don't seem to know this. I doubt that they would purposely want to hurt your feelings.
Invited to shower, not to wedding
