I did a search, but couldn't find any information on this. Sorry if it's a repeat. I am a bridesmaid for a good friend. Her mother contacted the bridesmaids about setting a date for the shower. The maid of honor communicated to the mother of the bride that she was unable to help plan the shower in any way, so I offered to plan the shower. Now, the bride tells me that the maid of honor has offered to do the invitations for the shower -- but the maid of honor won't respond to my phone calls or emails, and neither will the other bridesmaids (they're all sisters, but are not related to the bride). They have not responded to any communications from me since we were asked to be bridesmaids, although they do respond to correct small mistakes in the communications (for example, I wrote 2007 instead of 2008 in an email) without acknowledging the important parts or questions posed in these letters. What should I do? Is it still my responsibility to do the invites and plan the party, or is it up to the maid of honor now? I'm very busy and if I am planning the shower, I have to start planning now. I feel like I'm in the middle of some sort of strange struggle that I don't understand, and I don't want to make anything more difficult, and I don't want the bridesmaids or the bride to get angry at me. I'm just trying to make everyone happy and to be a good friend to the bride. She is expecting a shower and the date for the shower has been set, and I want to do whatever I can to throw her a nice party. Deciding not to have the shower isn't an option, even though I understand that it's not a required duty of the bridesmaids or the maid of honor to hold or plan a shower for the bride. Thanks for your help.
Weddings by Shayna
VA WEDDING CONSULTANT
May 5, 2008, 5:21 PM
Post #2 of 3
(251 views)
Re: [SkyBlu22] Maid of Honor unresponsive to bridesmaid
[In reply to]
Just for good measure, I would first ask the bride if there is something going on that you should know about. If she has nothing to offer, give the others one last chance at participating (be specific about what kind of help it is you need and ask brief questions that would lead to a yes or no response). If that doesn't work, kindly thank the maid of honor for offering the invitations, but (if you're willing) go ahead and issue them on your own. You've given these ladies every chance to participate nicely that you can, but for whatever reason they are not. If the bride indeed is still expecting (appreciatively) that you will throw the shower, go ahead and throw the shower.
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
/ Moderator
May 5, 2008, 7:07 PM
Post #3 of 3
(245 views)
Re: [SkyBlu22] Maid of Honor unresponsive to bridesmaid
[In reply to]
I agree. And, it seems that you know that it isn't your obligation to host this. The mother shouldn't have contacted you about hosting, as she shouldn't be involved. Also, the bride can want a shower, but she really shouldn't be expecting anyone to host one. It is an optional party. So, even though you state that hosting isn't an option, it really is.
Maid of Honor unresponsive to bridesmaid
