I am the mother of the groom. I also happen to be gay. My future daughter-in-law has invited me to a bridal shower in her home town approximately 12 hours away. Due to the fact I also have a 3 year old and time constraints, it would create a hardship for me to attend. I asked her if there would be a bridal shower locally that I could attend and she said that the women of her church were hosting a shower for her a few days later. At that point, I realized that I had not been invited to this shower. My son's stepmom also attends this church and avoids me at all costs. The day prior to the shower I asked if there was a specific reason I was not invited to this shower. My future daughter-in-law broke down in tears and said that she and my son had discussed it and had decided not to invite me because they were afraid I would feel uncomfortable with the situation. My guess is in reality, they didn't want the stepmom or other women of the church to feel uncomfortable by my being there. Regardless of the reason, she said she wanted me to attend the shower and that she and her mother would pick me up. I was hesitant to go since I was not truly invited, but went anyway because I thought as the mother to the groom, I should be there.
Two questions:
Is it ever proper etiquette to not invite the mother of the groom to a shower? Should I have refrained from going?
Should I go to the 2nd shower 12 hours away despite any hardships this will create? I feel like I'm being pressured from my future daughter-in-law and her mother to attend, but in the end, I want to do what is right.
Mom of Groom Not Invited to Shower
