Mother and Aunt want to host bridal shower when it's already been planned by bridal party
Help! My best friend is getting married in three months and the matron of honor and I (I'm a bridesmaid) are planning on throwing her a bridal shower. We asked the bride if we could host her shower several months ago and she said yes, that would be perfect. However, now that we're starting to plan the actual party, the bride has informed us that the groom's aunt is throwing her a shower for the groom's side of the family, and now her mom has informed us that she will also be throwing a shower for the bride's side of the family, family only. So, my question is what am I doing? The mother of the bride told me I should plan a friends shower, but what is that? Isn't that the bachelorette party?
Both the groom's and bride's families knew that the bridal party was hosting the shower, yet they still decided to host their own separate showers despite the fact. I don't want to stress the bride out over this issue since its supposed to be a stress-free event for her, but I feel like all these family members are stepping on our toes. What is the best way to approach this situation. I don't want to offend anyone, but I would really like to be able to come together and host one nice shower.
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Feb 25, 2008, 11:48 AM)
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Feb 25, 2008, 12:34 PM
Post #2 of 3
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Re: [frazzled maid] Mother and Aunt want to host bridal shower when it's already been planned by bridal party
[In reply to]
Dear Frazzled Maid,
A friend's shower is one where only friends are invited. Many times this will be a couple's shower. But, the main issue here is that there should be no more than two showers, excluding the work shower. With this many showers it may appear as if the bride and her groom want two gifts from as many people as possible. And, this is another very good reason family shouldn't host. This is a major no-no. So, it may be best, since you are in contact with the mother and aunt, to inform them that you have read--here and in many etiquette books--that family shouldn't host, especially mothers. This may solve your problem.
This could be very embarrassing for the bride if she hears how people really think about multiple showers and family hosting. Family typically tries to garner as many gifts as possible, which includes hosting huge affairs and breaking many rules.
Please invite no more than 30-35 guests to your shower.
Re: [frazzled maid] Mother and Aunt want to host bridal shower when it's already been planned by bridal party
[In reply to]
Perhaps you can host a couples or friends shower without gifts. That way, you can have the party and the fun without the worry that your guests will feel overwhelmed by the gift-giving. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Mother and Aunt want to host bridal shower when it's already been planned by bridal party
