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Home: Bridal Showers: Bridal Shower Etiquette:

Mother wants to host bridal shower with money as gifts

 

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lindalou


Jul 18, 2007, 9:29 PM

Post #1 of 3 (831 views)
     Mother wants to host bridal shower with money as gifts  

My future daughter-in-law has asked me to host a bridal shower for her one month before her wedding date. My son has already relocated for his new job, which is several states away and after the wedding she will be joining him. For her bridal shower she has requested that her family not attend, for fear of asking to much of them, so most of the guest list would include my sons family and a few friends who are close to the couple. She has been persistent in asking that guests who attend the shower bring money or gift cards instead of gifts. She even wrote a clever poem to include in the invites, that specifies the she would like money or gift cards to only certain stores. I am extremely uncomfortable with sending this poem out because I feel it is rude to deliberately ask for gifts in certain forms. How can I find a compromise between appropriate shower etiquette and her request for gifts in a certain form?


(This post was edited by TWQadmin on Jul 19, 2007, 9:02 AM)



TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT / Moderator


Jul 19, 2007, 9:02 AM

Post #2 of 3 (817 views)
     Re: [lindalou] Gifts [In reply to]  

This is unfortunate but none of this is appropriate. The bride should not be involved in the planning of the shower nor does she ask for a shower to be hosted for her. She should wait to have someone, other than a family member, offer to host. She can provide a suggested guest list but the final guest list, number of guests, theme, etc. is ultimately decided upon by the host. Money gifts are not appropriate for a shower since the guests will be expecting the bride to be opening gifts, which will be the highlight of the party. It would not be appropriate to be opening monetary gifts and announcing the dollar amount. So, I'm sorry, we cannot possibly guide you in this effort.

Since showers are optional events you should decline the bride's request and point her towards a god etiquette book.
Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator -
"Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".

(This post was edited by TWQadmin on Jul 19, 2007, 9:30 AM)



Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT


Jul 19, 2007, 1:33 PM

Post #3 of 3 (792 views)
     Re: [lindalou] Mother wants to host bridal shower with money as gifts [In reply to]  

Very well stated. I completely agree. And, you have an out. As a mother you could simply state that you have read that it would be considered improper for you to host the shower.

Good luck with this!
Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now





 
 


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