I recently co hosted a family shower where I was surprised by my co hostess during the opening of gifts. She left her seat and guests to put the gifts in 'order'. She was putting the gifts in order by age. I had a couple of problems with her behavior and want to know if there is any etiquette rules regarding order of opening gifts. A knowledgeable friend suggests that 'special' gifts should be left until last to not diminish their importance. Do you have a guideline?
Just venting...The girls she asked to help were feeling very helpless as she took control. The guests were left. We all knew who the gift was from before the bride opened it. Can you help me with some direction so perhaps the next shower not be so surprising?
Frustrated
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
/ Moderator
Apr 29, 2008, 10:04 AM
Post #2 of 4
(577 views)
Re: [ssjs] Opening of Bridal shower gifts
[In reply to]
Dear Frustrated,
With so many showers going gift-less, this type of behavior is even more disturbing. It puts even more emphasis on gifts and not the guests or the bride. Even with the traditional gifting shower, the gifts are not the only focus. And, these gifts should be inexpensive gifts, not one more 'special' than another. Honestly, who is going to be determining which gift is special and how? And, putting them in order of age? That is just plain silly. She must have had some reason, but I can't imagine what it could be.
With the traditional gifting shower, there is no putting anything in "order". If there is more than one host, they should both be on the same page, so the party goes smoothly. This is to make the guests feel comfortable, which is the golden rule of any party.
Thank you and I agree, we need to be on the same page.
By 'special' I was referring to handed down family items like a doilie made by great grandma who is no longer with us-usually gifts given by the mother's of the bride or groom.
Thanks again,
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
/ Moderator
Apr 29, 2008, 10:42 AM
Post #4 of 4
(570 views)
Re: [ssjs] Opening of Bridal shower gifts
[In reply to]
Ah, those special gifts. Those would be viewed as special no matter when they are opened. So, it really doesn't seem logical to put them in some sort of order. We could ask a couple of our guests sit sit in a certain order, such as the mothers. They could be right next to the bride, which means that their gifts are first to be opened. That makes much more sense.
Of course, it makes much more sense not to continue with the gifting showers. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
Opening of Bridal shower gifts
