To set up the point behind my question: I have a close relative who had dated off and on a man in the military who was stationed in Hawaii. She uprooted herself from the mainland to be with the man she loved and moved to Hawaii. When he returned home from Iraq for Thanksgiving in 2005, he proposed and they announced they were engaged. Everyone was excited for the upcoming wedding - TBA as he was to return to Iraq soon after Thanksgiving.
Time was passing by and we hadn't heard when the big day was to take place. We had a huge family get together for our Grandparent's 60th Wedding Anniversary. She had come home to help with the celebration. Before the anniversary guests arrived she pooled the family together and announced they had picked a date... March of 2008 with the wedding to be held in Hawaii. We were all very excited and congratulated her and offered our help with any of the wedding planning.
As the 60th Wedding Anniversary festivities continued with guests arriving left and right. She pooled her immediate family together and announced that she was already married! She and her fiancé had a private ceremony on the beach in Hawaii when he returned home from Iraq in March of 2007! They would be having a renewal of vows ceremony in March of 2008 and would like as many family members there to help them celebrate their marriage. We asked if she was going to tell the rest of the family. She said that she would but tomorrow, as she didn't want to take away from our Grandparent's Day. The announcement came as a complete shock! I personally felt very awkward with how she was telling us one thing one moment and another next!
My Question is this... They are coming home from Hawaii for Christmas. During their stay, there is a bridal shower planned for her. I'm really confused about the planning of a shower for her. I could see having a reception for the couple so that those who wouldn't be able to make the trip to Hawaii for the renewal of vows ceremony could celebrate and congratulate the couple on their marriage... but a bridal shower?
1) They chose to have a private ceremony. 2) They weren't honest with the family regarding their wedding plans/marriage. 3) She's already been married for 9 months... hasn't the time passed to have a Bridal Shower? She has since passed being a Bride and they have become a newly married couple.
Please give me your insight on this, as I’m really struggling with the concept of a Bridal Shower being proper or not for them. Thank you! Maraschino
I agree with you on all of this. It is very improper and could be interpreted as dishonest and greedy. They are not bride and groom and we don't host showers for couples who are renewing their vows, which is not a traditional gift giving event. In fact, many, if not most, do not view a vow renewal so close to the date of the wedding as positive.
It may be best to speak to your relative about this and how it may be perceived. This could be very embarrassing.
Post-Private Cermony Bridal Shower
