After reading through pages of posts about bridal shower etiquette, I am still unclear about how to handle this situation since both of us are in the bridal party. I am a co-MOH in my best friend’s wedding (the other MOH is her older sister) and my mother and I are planning to throw her a bridal shower. I thought that this was the most proper since family should not throw gift-giving parties for the bride, coupled with the fact that it is the MOH’s honor to organize the shower and host it with the bridesmaids.
Here is where it gets sticky. One of the bridesmaids is a sorority sister of the bride and now lives out of state. She has let the bride know she wants to host a shower for her when she will be vacationing in the area. I do not think it is proper to invite the same guests to two showers, that is just too many gift obligations for them! Neither the bride or groom have many female relatives in the area, so I was going to be including many of the bride’s sorority sisters and college friends in my guest list but now I feel like I can’t because of this out-of-town-bridesmaid who wants to do her own shower. Am I out of bounds to call her and ask that she participate in the shower my mother and I are organizing so that the guests don’t feel overburdened? The soroity sisters know me, as I have visited and spent a lot of time with them in the past, so we are all friends. What do you feel would be the most proper way to speak with her about this? It seems awkward, and I do not want to cause any drama or involve the bride, that would just put extra stress on her that she doesn’t need. I care because I have been looking forward to doing this for her for some time and want it to be a success. I don't want to have the younger crowd skip out on my shower to attend the other shower.
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Sep 1, 2009, 3:53 PM)
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Post #2 of 5
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Re: Should MOH or bridesmaid host shower?
[In reply to]
Dear Doonbug,
She really should coordinate with you since you are the MOH. However, anyone may host one. So, she could host her own as long as all etiquette in followed. The bride wouldn't want to appear greedy.
No one should be invite to more than one shower besides a parent or attendant. No more than 35 (that is a lot of guests) should be invited to a shower. Only those invited to the wedding may be invited to a shower.
Re: Should MOH or bridesmaid host shower?
[In reply to]
Call the bridesmaid and have a friendly chat. She's probably not aware of your plans or maybe not even aware of etiquette. Just let her know you've been planning this shower for a while now and perhaps the two showers should be merged since you'll have a similar guest list. That would take the pressure of being out of state off her and help you out financially. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
doonbug
Post #4 of 5
(378 views)
Re: Should MOH or bridesmaid host shower?
[In reply to]
Thank you so much for the quick response. I had the same thought, and I appreciate the validation. I am only looking to host about 20-25 guests at my mother's farm for a small outdoor luncheon, so there should be plenty of soroity sisters to go around
This forum has already been such a great resource for me in numerous other situations (not even wedding related.) I wanted to thank you for taking time out of your day to volunteer answers!
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
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Post #5 of 5
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Re: Should MOH or bridesmaid host shower?
[In reply to]
We all love what we do. It is especially rewarding, though, when appreciated. Thanks! Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Should MOH or bridesmaid host shower?
