Should an expensive shower oblige me to bring a gift?
I have a good friend who is getting married in February. She and her fiance are getting married in Punta Cana, Dominican Republic which is WAY too expensive for me or my boyfriend & I to attend. Originally she was going to have 2 showers. One put on for her mother's family and one for her mother-in-law-to-be's family. Plans have recently changed and she has decided to amalgamate the 2 showers into one and have it at the a local Dinner Theatre at the end of January. Tickets are $80.00 each. Because we are each paying for our tickets, are we still obliged to buy a shower gift? If so, how much should one spend on a gift, should the ticket price affect the price of the gift? AND they've lived together for quite some time now, own a house, etc. They aren't registering anywhere because they don't expect people to bring gifts to the wedding as they've already forked over $1800 - $2400 on the travel expenses (plus spending money). So how am I supposed to know what to buy if they aren't register anywhere? AND because I'm not attending the wedding should I be buying a wedding gift as well? HELP!
P.S. I don't know if this changes your answer, but if I were attending the wedding I would be the maid of honor.
P.P.S. I'm not trying to be cheap, I just have limited money.
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
/ Moderator
Dec 22, 2004, 6:22 PM
Post #2 of 7
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Re: [melly9725] Should an expensive shower oblige me to bring a gift?
[In reply to]
Wait...did I understand this correctly...the hosts of the bridal shower are selling tickets to the shower? Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
melly9725
Dec 23, 2004, 12:50 AM
Post #3 of 7
(2284 views)
Re: [TWQadmin] Should an expensive shower oblige me to bring a gift?
[In reply to]
She (the bride) invited me to the shower which is at a Dinner Theatre and explained that I would have to pay for the $80.00 ticket.
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Dec 23, 2004, 10:58 PM
Post #4 of 7
(2254 views)
Re: [melly9725] Should an expensive shower oblige me to bring a gift?
[In reply to]
Dear Should...,
This is extremely inappropriate. The bride or couple does not host a shower for themselves and ask for money to hold it. I'm without words... Anyone???
As a guest, you should not be 'hosting' or paying for their shower.
Re: [melly9725] Should an expensive shower oblige me to bring a gift?
[In reply to]
I understand that this must be a very good friend (since you mentioned she asked you to be the Maid of Honor) so, in the interest of your friendship, go to this "shower" and bring a gift you can afford. You should also send a wedding gift becuse you were invited to the wedding and because I'm sure that you will want to send a token of your esteem to mark the occasion. Again, make the gifts affordable. Perhaps, if you're crafty, you could make a gift (handmade wedding album, framed wedding invitation, hand crocheted blanket, etc). The gift does not have to be expensive, make the purchase from your heart. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
melly9725
Dec 24, 2004, 9:38 AM
Post #6 of 7
(2211 views)
Re: [TWQadmin] Should an expensive shower oblige me to bring a gift?
[In reply to]
Would it be completely inappropriate to tell her how i feel about this? I afraid her princess-esque attitude is starting to make me resent her.
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
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Dec 24, 2004, 11:55 AM
Post #7 of 7
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Re: [melly9725] Should an expensive shower oblige me to bring a gift?
[In reply to]
That depends on how you approach it. If you speak to her in a non-threatening, caring way she MIGHT understand but first ask yourself what you expect to accomplish by confronting her? Do you expect her to change her plans? It's probably a little late to make any changes. Weigh the options and the pros and cons before you endanger your friendship. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Should an expensive shower oblige me to bring a gift?
