I need some help! ;) I am getting married in December. My MOH hosted a bridal shower/bach party for me yesterday. At the bridal shower, I paid for my own meal, and then for the evening, I paid for my own meal again and any drink items. I also was asked to pitch in for cab fare, cover charges, etc. I am very confused, hurt and frustrated, and I don't understand if it is customary for the bride to take care of her self, or if it is left to the MOH or others included? I hate feeling this way, and since I am a very new bride to be, I am not sure how to react or be. I have only been to a few showers, and it seems the bride was always sort of the guest of honor! Any advice out there? And how do I address the situation or do I worry about it at all? Thank you, thank you!
You are right about the bride being an honored guest. The idea behind a bridal shower is for intimate friends to extend good wishes to the bride. Showers may be arranged and paid for by the MOH and the Bridesmaids but it's not mandatory that they do so.
The idea behind a bachelorette party on the other hand is to treat the bride out to one last night of being single. However, you mentioned that these two events were combined.
What I think is that there was some miscommunication and no clear understanding about what your expectations were for this evening. I'm not saying you are wrong, just that it sounds like there was some confusion. Perhaps you assumed your MOH would take care of you by paying for everything, or at least getting the money to do so. Maybe she didn't see the importance of making she knew what she was to do to make your happy.
Since I don't know all the details leading up to this night but based on what I've seen and read, I doubt she intentionally meant to hurt your feelings. Talk with her about it so you get it out in the open. Otherwise, you might continue to fester over it. She might think you are totallly happy with the way the night went and doesn't have a clue about your feelings.
Best wishes, Rhonda Allen, Bridal Consultant New Beginnings Weddings
(This post was
edited by expertplanner on Sep 4, 2005, 9:53 PM)
I completely agree. Plus, this is a cautionary note for all of us. It would appear as if your MOH didn't understand what a bridal shower or bachelorette party is supposed to be.
If you paid for your meals at both of these events, I would imagine your guests did also. Guests pay their own way for bachelorette parties, but this is not acceptable for the bridal shower. You would not be paying for either of these. It would imply that you are a host, which would be improper. But, I would imagine your MOH didn't realize this. So, again I completely agree that some honest dialog is in order.
It is always better for the host, whomever that may be, to host the party he or she can afford to host. And, to know what is expected. Some times this means that there is no party. Hopefully some who are in your position and in the MOH position will read this and not make the mistake your MOH did.
Shower/Bach Party
