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Home: Bridal Showers: Bridal Shower Etiquette:

Wedding shower for destination wedding and and couple is living together with baby

 

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butterfly9


Aug 29, 2008, 10:37 PM

Post #1 of 6 (360 views)
     Wedding shower for destination wedding and and couple is living together with baby  

A family member bought a house with her boyfriend last year when they found out she was pregnant and then he proposed. All this happened in three months. They had a baby shower earlier this year before the baby came, and changed their wedding plans to have a destination wedding later this year. As they have been living together with a baby, is it proper to have a wedding shower as well? After the destination wedding they are having a reception back home for everyone who could not come to the destination ceremony. Gifts will be brought to the reception.


(This post was edited by butterfly9 on Aug 29, 2008, 10:52 PM)

TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT / Moderator


Aug 30, 2008, 9:45 AM

Post #2 of 6 (350 views)
     Re: Wedding shower for destination wedding and and couple is living together with baby [In reply to]  

Gifts should not be expected for a wedding reception, only a wedding. Although, some guests may want to send a gift anyway. They should be sent to the home of the bride and groom, though. Please read other posts in the gift category.

As in the bridal shower category, we have many posts discussing the fact that showers are only given before weddings (not receptions) and only guests invites to the wedding (again, this means ceremony) are to be invited to a shower. In this case, there really is no need for a shower. Please read prior posts by searching and scanning the forum before posting (one of our rules for posting), especially on a holiday weekend.

Thank you.
Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator -
"Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".

butterfly9


Aug 30, 2008, 9:59 AM

Post #3 of 6 (348 views)
     Re: Wedding shower for destination wedding and and couple is living together with baby [In reply to]  

Thank you for the response. I did look at some other posts but as they are having a reception for those who could not come to the ceremony, and people will bring gifts, I wasn't sure if etiquette still allowed for a shower.

TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT / Moderator


Aug 30, 2008, 10:00 AM

Post #4 of 6 (345 views)
     Re: Wedding shower for destination wedding and and couple is living together with baby [In reply to]  

I understand but showers are given before the wedding, not after.
Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator -
"Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".

Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT


Sep 1, 2008, 1:42 PM

Post #5 of 6 (321 views)
     Re: Wedding shower for destination wedding and and couple is living together with baby [In reply to]  

I completely agree. Their situation is not unique and we have answered this question many times.

No showers after the wedding. Only those invited to the wedding may be invited to a shower. If there aren't many wedding guests, there should be no shower, as guests shouldn't be expected to give the couple two wedding gifts.

I also agree that the reception is not a gift giving event. The couple should not be expecting any gifts.

Just a note: Their guests may be feeling a bit overwhelmed by the couple's need for gifts at this point. If the couple just had a baby shower and they are expecting wedding gifts for a wedding many will not be attending, and they also expect a wedding shower, guests may balk. It does seem a bit much. It may be best to deemphasize gifts, as this shouldn't be the focus.
Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now

butterfly9


Sep 1, 2008, 2:05 PM

Post #6 of 6 (316 views)
     Re: Wedding shower for destination wedding and and couple is living together with baby [In reply to]  

Thank you for your response. Your last comment about wanting gifts I think is one of the main points of why a shower is being held, unfortunately. (i.e getting married = having a shower). I didn't think a shower was appropriate considering only a handful of people are attending the ceremony, but wanted to get an expert opinion if it made a difference if a reception was held afterwards for those who could not attend the ceremony (i.e the reception could count as a substitute for the ceremony). And now I know for sure it does not. Thank you for your advice!



 
 


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