Hello experts, I'm not sure if there has been a breach of ettiquette or if this is just a personal family issue. Either way, I hope you can give me some perspective. My sister's bridal shower is Saturday. It will be hosted by the bridal party: Me (MOH), my other sister (also MOH), the sister of the groom (BM), and the bride's good friend (BM). Throughout the shower planning process, there has been a lot of conflict and tension between our families. The groom's mom and sister are very controlling people. They have a certain way they like to do things and expect everyone to agree with them. This has made my family (me, sis/MOH, and my mom) feel like we needed to be on the defense and that we were in a "battle for control" of sorts. Here is the big issue: my own future MIL is making the centerpieces for us. The groom's mom called her to talk about the centerpieces. They used to be co-workers so they know each other. Anyway, during that conversation, the groom's mother said she didn't like how the shower was being handled and said some mean things about my family! My future MIL told my fiance about the conversation and swore him to secrecy - she doesn't want it getting back to her that she said anything. My fiance still ended up telling me about it. I don't care that this woman talks about us. However, I do care that she talks about us to my future MIL. I am so angry, upset, and embarrassed that she did this, I really don't want to go to the shower and face her. I wouldn't dare tell my mom, sis, or the bride- they would be incredibly angry and upset as well- but this thing is just hanging over me like a dark cloud. Should I confront the mother of the groom? Or should I just let it go and pretend she didn't bad-mouth my family to my MIL? Please give me some perspective. I have been so looking forward to this shower for months and now I feel like it's been ruined.
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Mar 27, 2008, 9:20 PM)
There are multiple issues here. The shower is simply an event. It has been a miserable planning process for sure, but the absolute best thing you and your family can do is go, put on your best cheerful and supportive face, and participate graciously. If anyone is going to make herself look bad in front of your family and friends, let it be the groom's mother (if she chooses that route).
Then there is the family serenity that the groom's mother is threatening. Since your future MIL and the groom's mother are so close, whey don't you ask your MIL how she would approach this problem with this unpleasant woman. If she has no insight, then perhaps you should just drop this issue. The party may have brought out the worst in her. If she is as rude and controlling in the future, be supportive of your sister - she's going to need someone in her corner.
Your obligation is to create a safe family environment for your sister - past that, she will have to work out with her groom how the mother is to be handled in the future. Shayna Walker, Williamsburg Wedding Design http://www.williamsburgweddingdesign.com
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