My fiancee and I engaged 2 months ago - our wedding is 8 months away. We can only invite 200 guests and are starting to shore up our long list. I am not close with my father's side (and there are lots of them ). Conversely, I am very close with my mother's siblings and my cousins on my mother's side. Within 2 days of our engagement, my paternal aunt and cousin offered to throw a shower - very generous, but a premature gesture (I think) given that we didn't have our guest list in place. I felt a bit awkward knowing that they would expect to include all women on my father's side, which would mean I would have to invite them to the wedding. I thanked my aunt and cousin for the gesture. Less than a week later, they wanted to know how many invites for the shower and where would I like to have it. I didn't know what to say. I said 15 people (which is less than the number of women on my dad's side - hoping they would "get it"). Fast forward to the present date. My fiance and I must cut many people from our wedding guest list, and and in the difficult position of wanting close friends over my family members that I am not close to - but are already assuming they are invited because they offered to host the shower. How can I/should I back out of the shower at this point to allow me to remove my father's neices/nephews from the wedding list, while keeping my mother's neices/nephews on the list? Thank you.
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Feb 14, 2008, 10:54 AM)
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Feb 14, 2008, 11:46 AM
Post #2 of 3
(1533 views)
Re: [washdcwed] bridal shower guests not invited to wedding
[In reply to]
Dear Washdcwed,
You could inform them that you two are hosting a smaller wedding than you thought and won't be able to invite all of the family. Then you could gently inform them that you read that it is viewed negatively for family to host a shower. It is viewed as self serving--trying to garner many gifts for family members. And, sometimes with family showers, like this one, it could be a competition--who can give the most. Hopefully that will help.
bridal shower guests not invited to wedding
