what is the etiquette for sending invitations to people where it is known they can not attend (e.g live across the country). have been told that they should be invited, however didn't think they should be invited because in this case it would look like simply inviting to get a gift. Have been told they would be hurt if not sent... The list was also very large & there were a number of other "out of town" relatives that were excluded...
thanks
(This post was
edited by dsly on Jul 5, 2007, 7:08 PM)
No, no, and no. The host sets the amount of guests that will be invited. And, the maximum of guests to a shower is 35. This is not a wedding reception.
Typically, we would invite anyone we feel would want to attend if they are very close to the couple. But, we do want to be careful not to invite guests who will not attend just because we want more gifts. That is viewed very negatively.
If you are being told by the parents that these people must be invited for whatever reason, smile and thank them for their input. But, they should not have anything to do with the planning or inviting. If the bride is pushing for more guests, the same smile applies. She should not have anything to do with this except to give you a list with no more names than you agree to host.
Many if not most do not feel hurt if not invited. In fact, numerous guests contact me to ask if they still have to give a wedding gift after giving a shower gift. The double dipping for wedding gifts is growing a bit thin for many, which is probably why the gift-less shower is becoming more popular.
bridal shower invitation etiquette
