date coordination of shower and getting MOG involved
I was planning to give my daughter her shower in September (wedding in October). Just found out she is having a jack & jill (which I totally am against, but she is handling it) in September. This changed the shower date to two weeks away. My family will not be attending as they are all out of town. The people I think will be there will be groom's family and friends.
Question 1: is August too early for the shower? I reserved a banquet site for the event. No invitations yet to the wedding have been sent, only Save the Dates. The invitations will probably go out in a couple weeks.
Question 2: I've would like to ask the invitees to RSVP to MOG and the MOH since I do not know anyone. Is that okay. I will pay for the bulk of the shower, we're rushing to put it together so not sure if it will be catered or we're cooking.
Thank you, very rusty on etiquette.
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Aug 3, 2008, 7:53 PM
Post #2 of 2
(175 views)
Re: date coordination of shower and getting MOG involved
[In reply to]
Dear Bets,
I sincerely wish you had read an etiquette book or our site before planning. It could have saved you and your daughter red faces.
We have very many post concerning bridal shower etiquette. This shower is completely improper. And, the event you have planned is a prime example of why mothers are not supposed to be involved in the planning or hosting of showers. Mothers will often try to garner as many gifts as possible. It is only human nature.
These are supposed to be small, intimate events. The banquet hall reference makes this sound more like a small wedding reception. And, only those close to the couple are supposed to be invited, not friends of the parents.
Your daughter shouldn't be involved in a shower either. She shouldn't request any or plan. Her co-ed shower is improper as well.
There should be no more than two showers. So, hopefully this rule and the rule about only those invited to the wedding being invited to a shower haven't also been breached.
The shower shouldn't be held earlier than two months before the wedding. So, August might be alright if someone else wishes to host a shower that is also proper and polite to all guests. As it stand now, these showers very well could appear to be a giant gift-grab. This is especially distressing when so many are opting for the gift-less shower.
Neither mother should be involved, so I can't comment on your second question.
If all of this advice sounds too stiff or "not with the times", please pick up a book. All of the rules are there as well.
date coordination of shower and getting MOG involved
