I was recently thrown a great bridal shower by my bridesmaids. There was about 35 people there, and I know that my maid of honor did make the guest list with the help of my family. Most of the guest were family, and a few very close friends. Now that the shower has come and gone, a few friends of mine who are invited to the wedding, but didn't get invited to the shower are confronting me about it. They are saying things like "doesn't every woman invited to the wedding go to the shower?" If that was the case, there would have been 75 people at my shower.
I wouldn't have wanted my shower any other way, even if I did have a say. Expecting 75 people to bring gifts, and sit there and watch me open them would have been rude. As it was, 35 gifts was a bit over the top!
My questions is, what can be said to these people who's feelings are hurt for not being invited? These people are really making me feel bad!
Try not to allow these few less mannerly people get you down. They shouldn't be asking you why they weren't invited to a party you didn't host. If you have anymore inquiries simply say that it isn't true that every woman from the wedding guest list gets invited to the shower. You can read that in most any etiquette book. You can also tell them that your hostess invited the number of guests she could comfortably host at her home/venue and you were not in charge of the guest list. Then you vcan say that you;re looking forward to seeing them and celebrating with them at the wedding. That should be a gentle reminder that they are thought of as a good friend, otherwise they wouldn;t have made the wedding guest list, right? Then quickly change the conversation to something more positive. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
I completely agree. And, can you imagine if it was true that all women invited to the wedding are invited to a shower?? That would mean that all women give two gifts to the bride--very negative.
It is very unfortunate your friends don't know any better. Hopefully, by your positive, polite, and calm demeanor they will begin to understand. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
uninvited bridal shower guest are upset
