I want to have a small wedding in Hawaii with parents, sisters and a few friends. He wants to have a wedding here with all his family. I will compromise by inviting his 2 uncles, their wives and 2 kids each and his parents to Hawaii. We (I should say my parents) are planning on paying for a rental house, food, and transportation for everyone. Plane tickets this morning were about $477 round trip. Am I asking too much of his family to travel? The wedding is more than a year away and I think it isn't too much to ask and I think they will enjoy taking a family vacation. He thinks it is too much to ask and they wont be able to afford it. Am I being too selfish? Am I living in lala land thinking $1200 is too much for a family of 4 to save up for a wedding in a year and a half? We might even be able to cut costs of plane tickets for some (paying some of their ticket cost), he wont budge on having a wedding at home! Help!
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Nov 25, 2008, 12:58 PM)
Etiquette Now
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Re: Am I being selfish wanting a destination wedding?
[In reply to]
Dear Csuzoo,
It is unreasonable to expect anyone to spend money on you or anyone else for any reason. It is theirs to spend on whatever they need to spend it on and if they are lucky enough to be able to save that amount in that amount of time, they just might want a different type of vacation.
It is reasonable to expect some sort of recognition about the current economy and how little discretionary cash most of us wll have going forward in this difficult economic environment. This isn't to say that it is selfish to host a destination wedding, not at all. It is a valid choice and you should have the wedding you want. But, with the destination wedding there is always the issue of our guests not being able to attend due to expenses and distance (some cannot travel). So there is a trade-off and we shouldn't project our wishes and preferences on others.
It is very generous of your parents to provide lodging for your guests, which isn't obligatory. In fact, they are not obligated to contribute at all these days. They deserve a big hug at the very least.
Re: Am I being selfish wanting a destination wedding?
[In reply to]
I completely agree with Rebecca but my concern is that there is no compromise between the bride and groom. When you have a wedding, you are getting married. Marriage requires compromise and the meeting of the minds to agree or come to terms when you do not agree. Once you work out the differences in your desired wedding, then you can move forward and plan the wedding. Nancy Tucker President of Weddings Beautiful US http://www.weddingsbeautiful.com
Am I being selfish wanting a destination wedding?
