Asking guests to chip in on accommodations for very untraditional destination wedding
My fiance and I are planning a skiing destination wedding for an upscale ski town in our home state. Most of the guests live within driving distance of the wedding, although still probably 200-400 miles away. We are planning a very short ceremony one morning before skiing, so although we will have honorary wedding parties, everyone will be wearing ski clothes and no one will need to buy bridesmaids dress, etc. There is also going to be no formal reception but instead a party that we will cater ourselves. The main thing is that we would like to rent two large houses to accommodate everyone so that we can all spend lots of time together but need to ask everyone to pitch in to make it work. The total cost per person (roughly $500 for 5 nights) will be considerably cheaper than it would cost to stay in a hotel for that amount of time, and the houses are much nicer than hotels. Even though we are cutting costs in other ways (most people don't need a plane ticket, no dresses, tuxes, etc), skiing ($85/day) and heliskiing (about $3,000 for 2 days)and gas to get there are quite expensive, so the total cost will be pretty high for everyone who plans on skiing. Given that, it is okay to ask everyone to pitch in for the houses and what is the most tactful way to present the lodging options and ask people to pitch in for their portion? I should also mention that our families offered to pitch in to stock the house with food and things like soup and sandwiches, etc. which would also help with guests' costs. Thank you for any advice.
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Sep 17, 2008, 3:14 PM)
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Sep 17, 2008, 4:49 PM
Post #2 of 2
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Re: Asking guests to chip in on accommodations for very untraditional destination wedding
[In reply to]
Dear Ekl,
If you have attendants, you are responsible for at least two night's lodging. There is no such thing as "honorary attendants". They either are or they are not. And, wearing ski clothes doesn't take anything away from the role. So, consider this while planning.
It is very improper to invite guests to a party for which they are expected to pay. But, wedding guests often pay for their lodging expenses. So, this is not atypical.
The typical way we do this is to send save the date information or verbally mention your plans. Give your guests all of the information about the house and the costs involved. They will choose for themselves what they wish to do. They should also have the choice of staying at a hotel or driving home after the wedding and a day of skiing. Staying at the rented home shouldn't be a determinant on guests' invitations to the wedding. It is best that your guests know this.
If you rent a home, you are now host, even if others are paying their own way. So, it is best that they do not have to bring all of their own food. This isn't to say that you have to provide full meals. But, planning on bringing the minimum is best. If your family wishes to do this, that's great.
Asking guests to chip in on accommodations for very untraditional destination wedding
