As you've seen from other posts, my fiancee and his brother are both getting married this year. We let people know last year we were planning on getting engaged and married in an island this year. They got engaged the same time as us and told us they were getting married in Hawaii four months before our wedding date! My fiancee is his brothers best man and vice-versa. We are paying for some of my bridesmaids costs ($600). We are not planning on doing the same for his brother as they haven't offered it to him for their wedding. I also told my bridesmaid to keep it private. Is this proper etiquette? We have to pay for getting to Hawaii, escorting his mother around (as she won't fly alone), tux rental plus hotel costs at the reception in 2 months. Nothings has been offered to help. Our wedding is slightly cheaper and no lodging costs for the reception later as he & his wife are staying at our place after the reception. Their wedding put us in a real bind finacially (as we have our own wedding & bought a home) and has cut back vacation time for our own honeymoon.
You are not obligated to play a part in their wedding, especially since you are getting married soon. It is your choice. But, it is proper to pay for your attendant's lodging for the wedding--at least two days.
Attendants loding payments
