My sister is getting married in Jamaica. She and her fiance have lived together for quite some time and are more than established as far as home necessities go.
They did not send wedding invites because they did not want people to feel obligated to pay and make the trip to Jamaica. Also, they are not having a reception for family members upon their return. Her friend had always planned on giving her a bridal shower, but my sister said she did not want gifts. It was going to be more a celebration than gift-grab.
All of this was perfectly acceptable to me and seemed like a good way to celebrate with family and friends. Yesterday I received the bridal shower invitation and her extremely expensive gift registry. (I’m throwing her a bachelorette party, but that is beside the point.)
To make matters worse, I don’t believe that she told anyone outside of immediate family of her plans to get married. So, extended family members will be receiving this bridal shower invitation and expensive gift registry out of nowhere.
This, in my opinion, seems quite rude. I think I’d be much more accepting of the situation if they were having a reception or would have some way to give back or thank the family and friends whom they are asking to shill out money for expensive gifts. A simple thank-you card seems rude or trite.
How can I politely suggest that she at least have a celebratory reception when they return? In my mind, a reception upon their return would speak volumes. As it sits now, they are just asking people for gifts, not asking them to share in the celebration of their love and devotion to one another. A reception would help quash this feeling, at least for me.
Thank you for your time!
Respectfully,
Worried (and Extremely Irritated) Sister
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Post #2 of 2
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Re: Bridal Shower but no Wedding Invite
[In reply to]
Dear Worried (and Extremely Irritated) Sister,
I would be embarrassed as well. Only those invited to the wedding may be invited to a shower, so this is very improper and impolite. Hosting a reception would help. But, the reception isn't the gift giving event, the wedding is. Even still, guests may consider that they need to give her a wedding gift too. Jeez.
So, it may be best to inform her of what you have read here and back it up by saying that this information is in every etiquette book.
Bridal Shower but no Wedding Invite
