My brother is thinking about having a destination wedding. They have gotten money for their wedding from both sets of parents. One option is San Diego which my husband and I could afford to do but the other is Hawaii which we can't. They said Hawaii after mentioning they had hoped I would take some pictures for them since I am very into photography just not a professional. They are very concerned with making their wedding as cheap as possible but I can't get a read off them if this is because they want to save the money their parents gave or because they want to pay for people to get there. They are only inviting the parents, her brothers with their spouses and myself and my husband. I really want to attend my brother's wedding but if it is in Hawaii and we are expected to pay for ourselves, we can't afford to go. They haven't decided where they want to get married they just know they want it within the next 5 months and very small. I don't know how to ask if they would be paying if it's in Hawaii and say that we wouldn't be able to go without making it seem like I'm trying to control their wedding. Some help would be greatly appreciated.
Unfortunately, unless they are asking you to be an attendant at their wedding, they are not required to pay your expenses. You need to let them know that you will not be able to participate as a guest if the destination is Hawaii. Nancy Tucker President of Weddings Beautiful US http://www.weddingsbeautiful.com
They aren't obligated to pay for you even if it is held in Hawaii unless you are also an attendant (besides two night's lodging), so they probably aren't considering it. Asking if they are paying wouldn't be polite.
It is best to let them know that you cannot afford to attend if it is held in Hawaii though. That may be an issue for the rest of the family as well. This is something many people deal with for the destination wedding--the fact that some cannot afford to attend.
My mom ended up mentioning to them that some people might not be able to attend if it's in Hawaii especially on such short notice. I'm hoping that it works out since not only do I really want to attend but if I can't they won't have a photographer.
Brother's Destination Wedding
