My fiance and I have decided to get married in Las Vegas. My original idea was to invite immediate family to the cermony in Vegas and then have a reception for extended family when we got home. I started planning and I really don't think that I want to have something at home. I want to have fun with whoever cames to Vegas - have the ceremony at a casino and then take everyone out for a meal and cake. I wanted a Vegas wedding because I just do not believe in huge overdone weddings. WHen I started adding the destination and the home party out was just too much money and too much planning! When I told my mom about my new idea, she didn't say much on the other end of the phone. .. which meant she really didn't like the idea. I told her that I would extend the guest list to include the rest of our family so that no one would be left out. I realize that not everyone would be able to attend, but I'm not really sure how to make this situation better. My mom is paying for most of the wedding and when I tell her that I want to save money she says don't worry about it. It is not that I don't want her to pay for things, I just don't think all of it is necessary. . .
Thanks fo your insight!
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Feb 22, 2008, 10:10 AM)
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Feb 22, 2008, 10:51 AM
Post #2 of 6
(626 views)
Re: [lapis11] Confused about destination wedding in Vegas
[In reply to]
Dear Lapis,
Ultimately you and your fiance make the decisions. But, taking all of your guests out for dinner, just may cost more than a reception at home. Plus, some may not be able to travel.
Perhaps you could have a very informal reception at home. This may please your mother and both of you. Receptions don't have to be expensive and large.
Re: [Etiquette Now] Confused about destination wedding in Vegas
[In reply to]
Hi Rebecca -
Thank you for your quick response! I totally understand that a dinner in Vegas could be more costly, but it was something I wanted to do since the beginning of planning. I truly believe that feeding the guests that actually go through the trouble of traveling is more important than having something after the fact. But the real reason that I think that my mom is upset is because she thought that if we had a reception for uninvited guests at home that she could also have a bridal shower as well. After reading many posts, I have tried to explain to her that she still could not have a bridal shower even if we have the reception back home. Am I correct in telling her that they must be invited to the wedding ceremony to invite them to a shower? I know that I have also read that the mother of the bride is not responsible for the shower, but it has become somewhat of a tradition in my family and I don't have a wedding party. . .
I now think that I have confused myself further. . .Please advise!!!
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Feb 22, 2008, 12:13 PM
Post #4 of 6
(614 views)
Re: [lapis11] Confused about destination wedding in Vegas
[In reply to]
No. You are correct. Only those invited to the wedding may be invited to a shower. Plus, when it is a small wedding, the shower is not proper. Not all wedding guest should have to give two gifts.
Mothers shouldn't host the shower. As you put it, she considers it 'her' shower. Actually, this is one of the reasons it isn't considered proper or polite. Mothers has a vested interest in garnering the most gifts, and we all know it isn't all about gifts.
So, you could direct her here or any etiquette book. Many families don't know what is considered proper as families have done what is best for each other in the past and not questioned the reasons. She is not alone thinking that she should host. But, it doesn't make it any more correct. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
lapis11
Feb 22, 2008, 12:43 PM
Post #5 of 6
(611 views)
Re: [Etiquette Now] Confused about destination wedding in Vegas
[In reply to]
Thank you so much!!
I just have one more thing to add. . . .(or maybe 2)
If we invite extended family to the destination wedding it would be about 150 people (not exactly small). Of course as we discussed not everyone would be able to attend.
In my case, who is correct in wanting to host a shower? I don't have a wedding party and I wouldn't want my "witness" to feel as though she would have that burden. I have 2 sisters and brother, all of which are married with 2 kids. I know how much time and energy I put into their showers. . .
Would it be proper to maybe suggest a couples shower?
You are doing a great job of making me think!! :)
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
/ Moderator
Feb 22, 2008, 1:15 PM
Post #6 of 6
(606 views)
Re: [lapis11] Confused about destination wedding in Vegas
[In reply to]
All of your questions have been answered in previous posts. However, if you have more questions after you have searched, please feel free to post each as a new question.
Thank you. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Confused about destination wedding in Vegas
