My fiance and I have our hearts set on a very small, private civil ceremony on a beach off the West Coast of British Columbia. We really just want our parents and siblings to be with us, however we plan on hosting a nice reception in our hometown shortly after our marriage (within a few weeks). Our parents are fine with whatever we decide, My problem is this: my fiance is from a large, traditional family whom I feel may need an explanation so as to avoid offending them by not extending the invitation to the ceremony itself. This is what I've come up with so far, for invitations to the reception:
At sunset in beautiful Tofino, British Columbia
BRIDE
daughter of PARENTS
and
GROOM
son of PARENTS
will join their hearts in marriage at a
small, private civil ceremony
on XXXXX, 2008
Because you have shared in their lives
by your friendship and love,
you are joyfully invited to
the local celebration of their marriage
at a reception in their honour on
XXXX, 2008 at XX:XX
LOCATION
ADDRESS
Is this too confusing? Do you think guests will mistake this as an invitation to the ceremony? I am concerned they might. Am I better off to phrase it past tense i.e.: joined their hearts in marriage? Then when do I send the invitations out? Before we actually get married? Announcing the date we were married? Before we actually are? Help! I am so confused! I am trying to find a balance here, between what is appropriate and what will make our intentions and wishes clear to our family. Your advice is most appreciated!!
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Jul 23, 2007, 12:18 PM
Post #2 of 2
(866 views)
Re: [bambina] DW, reception at a later date
[In reply to]
Dear Bambina,
This would not be a good idea. It is like saying: "Hey we are getting married and you are not invited." Plus, it is confusing. Why are they being notified about your wedding. Are they invited or no. So, it is best not to announce the wedding before the fact. We never do this.
In fact, announcements are only sent directly after the wedding to only those who really need to know and are not invited to the wedding or reception.
You would be sending reception invitations at least six weeks before the reception date.
No mention of the wedding is necessary. If your fiance feels that his family may be upset about not being invited to the wedding, he can verbally inform them of the reason. But, it really isn't necessary. Many are having private weddings these days.
DW, reception at a later date
