First, when my boyfriend and I were asked to be in our friend's wedding we did NOT know it would be a destination wedding. As planning has progressed, they have settled on a very lavish wedding in Mexico (we are required to attend for a complete week for they will be having their bachelor/bachelorette parties and rehearsal dinner at the destination). They have not made any mention of paying for the wedding parties accommodations and do not plan on doing so. The total for both my boyfriend and I to attend the wedding will be over $2500 (not including any extra activities that may be planned). In addition to these costs, the couple and 90% of their wedding party live 2 hours away from us. They are planning to have at least two showers (a couples shower and a theme shower for their Honeymoon). As we are BOTH in the wedding, we feel our attendance (and have been told so in not so many words by the couple) is mandatory. With the added expense of traveling for these showers in addition to the destination wedding, we are a little “spent”. Are we required to give gifts for both showers and then a wedding gift as well?
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Jul 9, 2007, 4:10 PM)
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Jul 9, 2007, 5:19 PM
Post #2 of 2
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Re: [brokebm] Destination Wedding - Gift Etiquette
[In reply to]
Dear Brokebm,
I'd just say no. No to all of it. You do not have to continue in this capacity since you didn't know about the destination status. Plus, they should be paying for your lodging if they are requiring everyone to stay longer.
They shouldn't have anything to do with the planning of any of their pre-wedding showers. It doesn't matter what they want or what they are 'planning'. It is extremely impolite to demand.
So, you could get them an etiquette book for a wedding gift and not attend.
If you give into to their greed, then you would be required to give one shower gift and a wedding gift. Both could be a group gift.
Destination Wedding - Gift Etiquette
