One of my best friends is having a destination/cruise wedding. Myself along with all the other guests are being asked to pay for a 6 day cruise, and all other expenses.
While this cruise isn't something I would have done personally with my money. I love my friend and wouldn't miss his wedding for anything.
However recently both the bride and groom have been dropping hints about where they are registered, early gifts they have received, etc.
The groom is an integral member of a group of six close friends. All of us(sans groom) have spoken recently about the cost of this destination wedding in relation to buying a gift. None of us are rich, we all have jobs like social worker, teacher, firefighter, laid off, etc so this wedding is costing everyone who attends about a month's salary.
How can we (his five closest friends) bring up to the groom, that none of us plan on getting them any sort of gift, and that we consider our attendance to be the gift?
I have read through some of the other post on the site, and they all seem to deal with destination weddings to a resort or the like.
A cruise means, I am paying for my lodging, all my meals, all my drinks, all my activities, etc. I wouldn't invite my friends over my house for drinks and dinner and then hand them a tab. This is just so confusing.
We never expect our guests to provide the party, which is what you were referring to in your last sentence. But, that isn't what is going on here. They are inviting you to their wedding that just so happens to also be a cruise. It could have been a wedding in another country that would have required you to pay for travel, lodging, and food. The only thing this couple is required to provide all of their guests with is "something", which is confusing. This "something" is usually a free pass to attend the wedding and a reception or some sort of celebration. Sometimes it is just a simple drink on arrival to the destination.
So, as for skipping the bought gift and gifting the couple with your presence? That isn't a wedding gift. If you choose to attend, you are expected to ship a gift to their home before the wedding. This is a choice, though, and in these tough times it is completely understandable to skip the wedding.
The present doesn't have to be expensive if you choose to attend.
Destination Wedding Gifts
